


New Waves

by Celirian



Category: Bleach
Genre: Bleach AU, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reprise Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-05-25 23:05:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6213757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celirian/pseuds/Celirian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tiny detail can change everything. The night Kaien Shiba went after the hollow that killed his wife there seemed to be only one outcome. This time however, fate played its strings differently, setting a new pace for a Substitute Shinigami named Ichigo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Low Tide

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its original characters and this story is in no way shape or form a part of the cannon Bleach universe. 

Summary: The tiniest detail can make all the difference. The night Kaien Shiba went after the hollow that killed his wife there seemed to be only one outcome; the loss of another life. This time however, fate played its strings differently, setting a new pace for the story about a Substitute Shinigami named Ichigo Kurosaki.

Author’s Notes: I am something of a reprise fanatic. The idea that one tiny detail or change in a series of events can have a drastic effect on the outcome of the story captivates me. This story will go along the same lines and plot as the original Bleach story in certain parts, but it will change drastically, pretty much right from the start. Along similar lines main characters in the original story might not be main characters in this story and visa versa. If this bothers you; well just don’t read the story.

I’m open to productive feedback! If you think there is anything I can improve let me know (in a kind way). Flaming and immature comments will be either ignored or promptly made fun of. On a final note I don’t pretend to be an expert writer. I’m a novice at best and English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for poor grammar and mistakes. I’m writing this in hopes of improving my skills and to, hopefully, create a good story. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

 

There was wind and rain and at times, the dark night was alight with fire and at other times the wind's loud howl was nothing but white noise under the symphony of drums that echoed throughout the forest.

Still Kaien ran.

His clothes were soaked through, sticking to his body as he wove through trees. His bangs clung to his forehead to drip rain and sweat into his eyes. His teeth chattered as the wind blew, chilling him right down to his bones. He couldn't tell you where he was, let alone how he got there. He couldn't tell you exactly where he was going either but he knew he was going the right way. He knew his target was somewhere up ahead in the dark forest, waiting for him. A distant presence he could feel led him on and Kaien pushed his aching legs onward through the storm.

Yes, it was a trap. Yes, he was going to die. No, it didn't matter and no, he didn't care.

Nothing outside of the images splattered through his racing thoughts mattered. The bodies of his comrades that had been ripped open and scattered in the halls of the squad he called home, the other Shinigami still alive but left to die, slowly and painfully. The image of his wife lying unconscious and the lingering feeling he'd had when he knew (no, when he had thought) that at least she was okay after her mission had gone horribly wrong.

But she wasn't okay. She wasn't okay at all; she was dead. She was breathing but she was dead and she would always be so from here on out.

Of course Kaien didn't know that at the time. When Captain Ukitake had knocked on his door and told him that Miyako's mission had failed he had feared the worst. That she was dead just like the others that had been sent out before her, and everyone was dead.

Everyone but her. Yes, he was saddened by the deaths of his teammates, his subordinates, his friends, but she had come back and that was all he could think about. She had, somehow, beaten all the odds and made it through whatever hell and torture that had killed so many others and returned to him. Of course she had, she was his wife. His talented, beautiful, flawless wife. She could beat fate himself if she were up against him and she would be with him until the end of time.

Kaien had always been warned that idealistic thinking would get him into trouble and he had never believed it to be true, not until now. Idealistic thinking was nothing more than lying to yourself and everyone around you. It was putting hope where there was none and painting a picture of things that could never be.

If he was honest with himself he had known the truth all along. He knew exactly what was going on; a small voice in the back of his head had told him that she wasn't alive. That he was going to have to let go, but he ignored it. Who wouldn't in that situation? Secretly, as he ignored destiny's whisperings, he had told himself that when things went wrong (there was no if about it because they were going to go wrong, he had no doubts) that he would make sure he would be the only one to suffer. He and he alone would be the only one to die.

He wasn't expecting the massacre.

But there it was and there he was and it was time to make things right.

Kaien stopped near a large tree and slipped around its massive trunk. Behind it, the violent wind broke and stilled. Closing his eyes, he lifted his head towards the creaking branches and sparking clouds and reached out with his senses. For some people, reiatsu was hard to read, but for Kaien it was amazing how easy it was to connect with the world around him.

They called him a prodigy; one of the few exceptional cases that go through the academy every once and a blue moon. Kaien hated that name, but he was never angry at the power he had. It helped him save people and connect to his surroundings and that gave him a different view of the world; one that gave him different insight than an average person or Shinigami. Everything had a spiritual essence to it and he could touch every leaf on a tree and every bug on the ground. He could feel people and creatures both near and far; the hollow that was in the glen up ahead and the two Shinigami that had set out after him sprinting through the mud and wind.

_It's now or never_. Captain Ukitake and Rukia Kuchiki were catching up faster than he had previously thought.

Narrowing his focus, Kaien shrunk his own presence and let out a slow breath. The captain and Rukia disappeared from his mind, as did the hollow. The thunder went silent and all that resounded in his mind was rain, the pitter patter of every drop around him as they bounced off leaves and branches, slid down bark and found their place in the puddles of mud under his feet.

Water was his to control; this rain was his.

One hand on the sheath of his Zanpakutō, the other curled around Nejibana's dark blue hilt. The trembling rage in his fingers stilled as Kaien stepped away from the shelter of the tree and disappeared into the night, leaving a trail of frozen water drops hovering in the air.

* * *

 

Rukia Kuchiki looked up at her captain as the presence she had been grasping at disappeared like the warmth from a blown out candle. "Sir!" 

"He's still alive." Without missing a beat, Captain Ukitake ducked a low branch and gave her an unconvincing smile. "Kaien is trying to hide, but the hollow isn't."

Rukia nodded. Right, it was simple; follow the hollow's signature and she was sure to find Kaien, but her mind was racing too fast to think straight. The person she strove to be like; the one she looked up to the most was dead. Miyako wasn't only dead, but she had killed her fellow squad members. Death was everywhere and it was making Rukia's senses swim and her stomach knot up in a way that was making it hard to breathe.

Shinigami meant Death God. It meant balancing death in all its forms, but she still wasn't prepared for it like this. Not from the hands of a friend; from someone she respected and adored. She wasn't ready to run after her mentor and vice-captain to stop him from getting himself killed.

To do whatever it took to keep him from losing his honor as a Shinigami.

The look on Kaien's face when he had seen what his wife had done would haunt Rukia for the rest of her life. A skeptical, almost playful spark in his eyes disappeared to be replaced with instant denial and disbelief.

And tears. Subtle, but there nonetheless. Tears of a man who's world had shattered like a glass against the wall. Tears that came and went faster than Rukia was able to process the situation that laid before her. He went from broken to resolute, from Kaien to someone she didn't recognize. Without a word he had turned and disappeared into the air. That was when Captain Ukitake had grabbed her sleeve and dragged her after him and that's how she ended up out here, in this storm, trying to sort out everything.

_And now I feel like I'm going to throw up_ , Rukia thought and resisted the urge to put a hand to her flipping stomach. _Keep it together, the Captain will make sure nothing bad happens out here. He won't let things get worse_.

He had to. Things had already gone horribly wrong and while she could blame that on Captain Ukitake, he wasn't the only one that hadn't noticed Miyako's condition. It was impossible to think that things would turn out the way they did. All the other Shinigami had died or disappeared when they went to investigate this hollow; they didn't return unconscious. They didn't return at all. So why would anyone even imagine…treason?

Rukia heard the sounds of fighting up ahead and tensed to pick up her speed, but Captain Ukitake held up a hand telling her to stop. They both skidded a little in the mud before taking shelter behind a tree from the wind. The clang of metal, the splashing of water, and an unending hysterical laughter resounded around them and it took more control than Rukia thought it would to keep from running right into the middle of the epic-sounding battle or turning and running as far from it as possible.

The obvious sounds of scuffle aside that laugh made Rukia's blood turn cold. She was unable to suppress a shiver as she looked up at her captain, waiting.

Captain Ukitake, on the other hand, was putting all his attention into the battle that he couldn't see. Rukia could feel his reiatsu reach out, carefully brushing over the land to stop at the edge of the fight. After a couple of minutes he let out a small sigh and pulled back.

"We have to move carefully." He said putting a hand on the tree trunk for support. "We can't force Kaien to stop fighting."

Rukia blinked. What? Then why did they run after him in the first place? "Sir, he's going to get himself killed!"

Ukitake didn't respond. Pressing his lips together, he let out another small sigh.

Oh. Oh no. Her captain was not doing this.

"You…came to watch him die?" Rukia took an involuntary step back as realization settled. "You're not going to stop him from… from getting himself killed?!"

"I'm not going to get in the way of Kaien's honor."

Captain Ukitake was totally going to do this. He was going to stand there and watch Kaien try to fight an impossible battle to uphold some philosophy about fighting. A philosophy about life and heart that had been explained to her a dozen times.

There were two reasons for fighting: to protect (both the people you loved and those you were obligated to protect by your duty) and for honor (your own honor, not anyone else's) and, for the most part, Rukia agreed with this. When Kaien had first told her about it during her training it connected with her because before she had met Kaien; she really hadn't been sure why she had joined the 13 Guard Squads in the first place.

Mostly she blamed Renji. After all, it had kind of been his idea in the first place.

Kaien had given her purpose, though. She could fight for those who couldn't fight, like she used to on the streets and she could find her own honor and defend it. But in upholding these philosophies you had to respect other people's takes on it because everyone's definition of 'honor' was very, very different.

So it was a fine balance in the end. When did you put aside your own honor and let someone else defend theirs?

Pride, honor, heart, respect…all these things were talked about like the weather within the thirteen squads and what was more was that each person talked about it differently. Just as some people preferred summer over winter or rainy days versus sunny days, everyone had their own opinions and ideas and it was hard to place yourself within the conversation and figure out how they define you.

Not anymore.

Rukia gritted her teeth. It was wrong to be angry with Ukitake but this was absurd. Did he really run all the way after Kaien to watch his vice-captain, a man everyone loved and respected, die for his 'honor'?

"What about your honor, Captain?!"

_Oops…_ she hadn't meant to say that out loud.

Ukitake visibly flinched. She knew this couldn't be easy for him. She had heard how he had tracked Kaien down and convinced him to be the vice-captain for his squad all those years ago. He loved Kaien as a brother, maybe even a son. So why was he content with just standing there?

"My honor..." Ukitake closed his eyes and stood up straight, a hand fell to his Zanpakutō, gripping its hilt tightly. "My honor as a captain, as your captain, is to respect your heart; what you stand for and fight for every day."

_Argh!_ Pride be damned she could not, would not, just stand there. She might not be experienced enough to turn the tides of a fight, but at least she would have done something.

"Then, I am sorry Captain." Rukia bowed deep, her wet hair falling into her eyes. She waited a minute before she stood back up and locked eyes with her commander. "My heart will not allow me to stand here and do nothing."

A small, knowing smile was her only response.

_Oh…_. He knew she wasn't going to just stand by and let things play out into the inevitable. She would have to talk with him.

Later.

Rukia turned and with her captain inches behind, she headed straight into the wind.

* * *

 

Kaien lifted Nejibana straight out to the side as Rukia and Captain Ukitake splashed up behind him. No, they were not going to interfere. This wasn't their fight, it was his and his alone. This was his pride on the line and his night to die defending his heart. 

Neither of the two newcomers said anything and Kaien took his Zanpakutō into both his hands, holding its gleaming blade straight out in front of him. Both he and the hollow were losing steam, but he seemed to be more tired than the monster at this point. Metastacia, was the vilest hollow he had ever fought. Tentacles aside, its spiritual pressure alone made his stomach wish it could turn inside out. Its voice grated against this ears like nails on a chalkboard and its taunts were enough to make him see red.

The hollowed made an amused clicking sound. "More of you? This has been a fantastic week; if things keep up like this I'll never be hungry again."

"You're not going to kill anymore," Kaien said in a monotone drawl that he didn't recognize as his own voice.

This had to end and now. He had managed to cut off a few of the hollow's limbs by surprising it with a couple of quick shunpō steps, but that tactic was one that couldn't be used for long. It never took an enemy long to figure out fighting patterns. Metastacia was a fast learner, especially for a hollow. It almost had a human like way of thinking and that was what kept throwing Kaien off. It wasn't just strong or good at fighting, it was using mind games and he, so far, had been barely keeping from falling for them.

But when a hollow talked about how delicious his friends had been all sense got knocked out the window and it was with blurred vision and an almost primeval need to kill that he'd found himself charging in and barely avoiding getting hit while being nowhere near hitting the beast. It was the messiest dance he had ever done (not that he could ever dance well), but he was better than this.

He just didn't care if he was better or not right now. Right now he'd use any tactic it took to kill this thing and as far as he could tell the only way to kill it would be to take it down with him. Though, to his advantage he hadn't released Nejibana yet and while he knew the hollow would know that he could release it at any time, it shouldn't know what his powers were.

Then again, it seemed to know a lot about him that it shouldn't. Which might be the only reason it was still alive at this point.

_Maybe I should get it to talk…_

Okay, that was probably the worst idea he had ever had, but this thing liked to talk. It liked to brag and everyone knew that when someone (or rather something) enjoys the sound of its own voice it will, eventually, let something slip that it shouldn't.

Dammit! Why did those two have to follow him? The captain should at least know better than to try and stop him, but why bring Rukia? Maybe Rukia ran first and Captain Ukitake was trying to stop her. Maybe the captain had something else up his sleeve, who knew? Either way it complicated things. Before he didn't have to worry about collateral damage. Now-

"What drives you, boy?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Kaien refocused on the hollow. He was getting needlessly distracted. He came out here for a reason. He had to ignore the others and do what needed to be done, finished what he had started because now there was no turning back. If he didn't defeat this hollow here and now then Captain Ukitake and Rukia would be next and that…that would mean his life was even more of a failure than it had already turned into this night.

"Didn't hear me? I said, what drives you?" The hollow hadn't moved since Rukia and Captain Ukitake arrived, in fact, aside from its one comment he hadn't even acknowledged them. What was it playing at?

Kaien didn't answer the question, instead he eased up from his fighting stance and held out Nejibana to the side. The hilt dropped a couple of inches as his grip loosened, but the sword didn't fall to the ground. It hovered in between his fingers as the blade shimmered pale blue.

"Kaien!" Captain Ukitake's voice snapped.

Kaien, again, didn't move. "Captain. Don't." Cold. Icy. Determined. Hollow. Kaien's voice didn't even echo in the glen. It stopped flat against the wind and rain. "It already knows what we can do. It's seen Shikai before."

"Clever, clever boy." The hollowed cooed. "Just as I'd expect from a prodigy like you. Your wife's was impressive. I can only imagine what a water sword could be like."

Rukia failed to stifle a gasp. "It… knows?"

Kaien wasn't surprised. He had figured out the hollow's power almost immediately after their battle started, he just, again, didn’t want to admit it.

"I thought as much." Captain Ukitake muttered more to himself than anyone else. "No one's returned and by eating the other Shinigami it's gained knowledge of us and our abilities."

The hollow laughed, shifting its gaze from Kaien to Ukitake. "More than that, my dear Captain. Much more." Turning back to Kaien its tentacles slowly started waving. "Would you like to see your wife, Vice-Captain?"

White clouded Kaien's vision and the sound of rain ceased with a deafening roar.

* * *

 

_Whoa_  

Rukia held a hand palm up in front of her. The rain was frozen in midair even though the wind whipped at her clothes and thunder still sang in the clouds. She knocked a couple drops away from in front of her eyes; they were still water and shattered into smaller droplets as she hit them and fell unceremoniously to the ground. She cast a quick glance to her right and only a few meters away she could see puddles rippling from falling rain. Kaien had somehow stopped the rain just around them. She knew he was powerful, but this was new. He hadn't even released his Shikai completely.

Nejibana was a sword of water and waves. It was a sword of the ocean and tides. She had seen him wash enemies away, but she'd never seen anything like this. And judging from the look on Captain Ukitake's face, neither had he.

The stillness broke when Kaien finally shifted his stance (though the rain still didn't move). He had gone so stagnant that Rukia begun to wonder if maybe the hollow had done something, but now her captain next to her had gone deathly still. The hollow was up to something, what she couldn't tell. She had never met a hollow this intelligent. One that spoke as well as any human, one that could hold up so well against one of the best Shinigami in the 13 Guard Squads.

The hollow twitched and laughed, a low, slow laugh that turned into a high pitched cackle. "How about it? Want to see your wife one last time before I kill you and then make you kill them? I can be merciful."

Nejibana's glow sharpened as water from the puddle around Kaien's feet began to crawl around his legs. He slowly spun the sword between his fingers as the water wound its way around his arm and twisted around the blade until it was completely encased.

Captain Ukitake took a step forward while murmuring a low warning, but it was lost in the wind. Kaien hadn't even said anything to release Nejibana or if he had then Rukia hadn't heard him. She knew it was possible to use Kido spells without the chants if you were strong enough, but she didn't even know of a captain that could release their Zanpakutō into shikai without saying its release phrase.

Water barely receded from Nejibana's trident form, Kaien launched into the air with an inhuman shout.

"Kaien!" Rukia took a step forward, but a hand grabbed her shoulder. Shrugging she took another step, her eyes never leaving Kaien. He wasn't even trying. He wasn't fighting. He was waiting for a moment to throw his life away. Bobbing and weaving through the stilled storm, any drops that Kaien or the hollow hit shattered leaving pockets of dry space.

Up, dodge, left, duck... no more drops were falling. There was a dance, a pattern, they were in a stalemate and it wouldn't take much to turn the tides. Careful not to knock anymore drops out of the air she followed Kaien's initial trail forward and paused as Kaien suddenly switched up the pattern and skidded to the left to create a new pocket of stillness.

"Kaien." Right, because he's going to hear you whisper. "Kaien!"

No acknowledgment.

"Kaien, listen to me!" Rukia put a hand to her Zanpakutō and took a step to her left, ducking to avoid a few glimmering water drops. "If we-"

"There is no we in this, Kuchiki. This is my fight. My honor. My heart."

Okay, she should have figured that wouldn't work, but what would? School never covered talking a friend down from suicide.

"Where's the honor in this?!" Hopefully this would work. He might hate her forever, but at least he'd be alive to hate her. "Where is the honor in dying alone while I'm standing right here?!"

A twitch in his hand.

"You told me that heart meant defending those that you cared for."

Kaien's knuckles went white and his voice didn't waver. "My heart is one thing, my honor is another. My honor was lost the minute I failed to notice that Miyako was dead. When I failed to stop the massacre that killed our comrades. The minute I gave into delusions and this is the only way I can get it back."

"By dying?"

"By making sure this bastard doesn't kill anyone else."

"No, that's not—" Actually, it was a good reason, but not one she could agree with. Not if it meant he was going to die. Rukia took another step and reached out towards Kaien with a shaking hand. What was she doing? She wasn't qualified for this.

And why was the hollow just watching? She suddenly realized the monster's stillness and… smug posture. Kaien was aware of it too. Nejibana's three tips didn't leave a line drive for the creature's mask no matter where Kaien was turned or looking and the hollow's gaze never left those glistening points.

Rukia's eyes darted from hollow to friend, waiting to see who would move first. Suddenly she didn't know what to do. Anything could set Kaien off and anything would set the hollow off. She wasn't strong enough to join the fight (not that Kaien would allow that) and talking Kaien down was obviously not going to work.

So what was there?

There was Kaien, the hollow, her, and her Captain. Kaien who wasn't thinking. The hollow who was obviously thinking too much. Herself who could barely keep her breathing under control and her Captain who wasn't going to interfere. There was the storm and a ripple in the air that just didn't taste right.

The hollow moved, Kaien screamed, and Rukia's sword was in her hands before she knew what she was looking at. The storm surged and she was swept off her feet to watch the lightening dance through the trees.


	2. Push and Pull

Captain Jūshirō Ukitake grabbed Rukia and turned his back against the wall of water that surged when a face appeared above the hollow and Kaien disappeared. The wave was still strong enough to knock both of them to the ground, not to mention discombobulate him for a good minute. Laying on his back for a moment Ukitake caught his breath. He hadn't been feeling well today and this was not going to help matters. Captain Unohana was going to have his hide when he got back and… oh, great, he was missing a sandal. With a squelching pop he unstuck himself from the mud and looked up at the rain that was once again falling freely. Both the monster and his vice-captain were half a kilometer away and growing more distant.

Rukia stood up uneasily, wiped her wet hair from her eyes, and took a couple raspy breaths. "S…Sir, that was…"

She looked terrified. What business did he have bringing her along? She was too young for this and had been through enough for one evening. It was a split second decision, if he couldn't interfere maybe Rukia would. He had hoped…he always hoped because he was the optimistic one. The Captain with the strong smile and the weak everything else. Yes, there came a time when every Shinigami needed to face the absolute truth about how horrible this job could get, but Rukia was so young. So, so young.

Even if he had only caught a glimpse of it before the wall of water did a little more than distract him, there was no denying it. Ukitake nodded. "Yes, that was Miyako. Or rather, it was her face. It would appear that this hollow can produce the form of Shinigami it's eaten. Which explains how it was standing up so well against Kaien and the previous Shinigami sent after it. As I said before, it might also be able to retain knowledge from those it has killed."

"I didn't know such hollow existed."

"They are rare but they do. Now," A quick glance around the glen for his lost sandal proved to be fruitless. "We have to catch up to them."

"Wait."

Ukitake raised an eyebrow at Rukia. He knew that tone, the 'I'm done with this' snap. He couldn't lose her here or he'd lose Kaien for sure. There was still hope, there was still a possibility of getting him to see reason over suicide, but he needed Rukia because as much as he wanted to, he couldn't step in. He couldn't interfere. He made a promise hundreds of years ago and he wasn't going to go break it, not even for his vice-captain and dear friend.

Rukia's hands curled into fists. "Why won't you do anything? Why did you bring me out here to stop him? Isn't that your duty? You are our Captain! You're supposed to lead us and teach us and show us what's right and wrong. Standing there and letting Kaien kill himself isn't right and you know it! What kind of heart do you have that…that you're going to let himself get killed for nothing?"

They didn't have time for this. Every second wasted was a second closer to everything going wrong. Closing his eyes, Ukitake took a breath and tried to ignore his cramping stomach.

"My duty…" _is impossible to explain. Is something you aren't old enough to understand yet_. "Is to guide and lead you. It is to show you what I think is right and wrong and then to stand back and allow you to make your own opinions. I'm not supposed to paint the world black and white for you. I merely draw the outlines and let you fill in the colors. By doing that, I also cannot take my own ink and repaint what you have done. My duty as your Captain is to give you the opportunity to defend your heart even if I do not fully agree."

Rukia did not look convinced but she nodded and turned to take off into the night. She was definitely going to be mad at him for a long time. That was okay. He could deal with that. They would talk about it once tempers and emotions simmered down and they would get through this.

Assuming this night didn't turn into the ultimate tragedy.

With a small sigh, Captain Ukitake followed Rukia's bubbling reiatsu and the unsuppressed ripples from the fight up ahead at a steady pace until he heard a deep shout followed by a loud pop. He swallowed the growing tension in his stomach and took one last step to cross the distance and skidded to a halt next to Rukia just in time to grab her from running out to his vice-captain.

Kaien had lost. A single tentacle wrapped itself around Kaien's wrist and up into the skin of his arm, his white knuckled fist curled around Nejibana's bladeless hilt. With a grunt, he fell to his knees pulling weakly at the tentacle, but he wasn't trying to get the wriggling limb out of his own skin.

He's pulling the monster closer. Ukitake narrowed his eyes as an explosion erupted in the hollow's face. Good, Kaien could still use kidō. He still had a chance with his skills.

The tentacle in Kaien's arm crept further into his skin, up into his shoulder. Kaien let out a low growl before turning to look at Ukitake and Rukia. The captain barely had time to grab the girl and away from the attack…and he didn't quite make it. Pain shot through his spine as the lighting strike hit his shoulder and he found himself flying through the air before rolling to a painful halt in mud.

Rukia bounced from his arms but was up immediately and in front of him, Zanpakutō out. "Captain, are you okay?"

 _No_. Putting a hand to his mouth, Ukitake tried to swallow the bile in his throat, but despite his best efforts he turned to the side to cough against the cramps in his stomach. Red mixed with mud and rain, staining his white coat and Rukia's sandals.

"Dammit." Ukitake heard Rukia curse, the same word going through his mind. That was new, he had never heard her swear before. She threw her arms out, muttering words too fast to decipher between the surrounding roar of the wind. Her Kidō spell met Kaien's halfway between them and exploded in a brilliant ball of orange and red.

Ukitake scrambled unsteadily to his feet fingering the hilt of his sword; this was a new game now. Kaien was no longer in control of his own mind or his actions. Now it was up to him and Rukia to defend Kaien's honor.

The hollow laughed. "This is my favorite part. I get to use him to kill you."

"That's not going to happen," Ukitake said, drawing his Zanpakutō with a shaking hand.

"I don't think you get it, my dear Captain. He's already mine. No one can get away once I've touched them." The hollow turned Kaien's head.

And Rukia screamed.

* * *

 

Kaien's eyes were black. Dead. Hollow. He was gone, he was dead. The only way to end this was to kill him. The only way to defend his honor was to make sure no one else saw him this way 

This couldn't be happening. She hadn't come all the way out here just to lose. The Captain brought her because he couldn't interfere. It was her job to save him. Hers and she failed.

Rukia's hands doubled their grip around Sode no Shirayuki. Rain pelted her face, mixing with tears. As Kaien's lifeless face turned away, she brought her sword straight up in front of her, turned it's blade to the ground, and whispered,

"Dance."

* * *

 

Emptiness was filled with anger and hate. His eyes wouldn't focus and his body wouldn't move. He couldn't hear anything other than screams of pain and a shrill laugh.

Kaien tried to yell, shout out, cry, but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything but float inside his own soul and wait for it to end. Wait for the hollow to devour him completely or for someone to mercifully kill him. He would die here with no honor by one hand or another.

He had failed his Captain, his friends, his squad mates. He failed Miyako and that…that made him want death more than anything else. An end to it all. To his life, his achievements, his failures, and his demise.

He hurt, but shame overwhelmed pain and he wished he could at least shut his eyes against the misty darkness that enveloped him. More screams, more laughter, and a voice called to him. He knew that voice.

"Kaien!"

Miyako. That's right, the hollow had swallowed her…maybe she was here. Maybe he could see her before he died, maybe they could be together for the very end. Who knows what could happen to their souls after the hollow was destroyed.

"Kaien!" Closer now, she was so close. If only he could move, if only he could call back. Where was she? Her voice was all around him. Damn the darkness.

"Kaien Shiba, you idiot."

"Huh?" He could speak! And when did his feet find the ground? "Miyako?"

Kaien took a breath and turned to look over his shoulder and his heart jumped. A soft smile and dark wide eyes met him. She was here! She was really here and… _that's a fist!_

"Ow!" Kaien rubbed the top of his head; that was a little more than a love tap. "What was that for?!"

"You. Are. An. Idiot." Miyako crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. "A big, stupid, single minded idiot!"

"Nice to see you too." Kaien frowned, but he couldn't hold it for long. Miyako was here, in front of him and all he wanted to do was gather her up and never let go. He took a couple steps forward, but she retreated a step for every one he took. "What…what are you doing?"

"You can't come with me, Kaien." She smiled as she shook her head. That airy, soft, knowing smile. She blinked back an obvious glistening of tears and put a hand up before Kaien could protest. "This is not how it's going to end for you."

Like hell! That couldn't be right, why would she say that? She wouldn't say that, not after all they had been through and seen and done. Not after…not after he failed her so completely. It made no sense. They always promised to be together and now they would be even out of life.

The hollow. It had to be the hollow. It was messing with him, playing tricks on his mind it-

"This isn't a trick, Kaien." Miyako laughed at his confusion. She reached out and put a cold hand on his cheek. She ran her thumb under his eyes, tracing the dark circle that shadowed his skin. "Once you're in here the hollow can use your physical form and it can steal our knowledge, but he can't have our minds, and until he fully eats our souls he can't have those either."

Kaien reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling it away from his face he cupped it between his fingers. "Then there's hope!"

"For you, yes. I have been here too long and soon it'll be too late for you."

"I don't care! I—"

Miyako yanked her hand from his and drew back a couple steps just out of his reach. Her eyes locked into his and didn't waver. "I didn't marry a selfish blockhead who would throw his life away in a meaningless pursuit. I married a stubborn genius who gave his all for those around him and, even though he didn't want to, he took on great responsibility to protect those who weren't capable of protecting themselves! You, Kaien Shiba, still have a responsibility to those people, to the people that I can no long protect and teach."

Kaien shook his head, he didn't know how to respond. He didn't know what to say; he didn't know how he was supposed to take up that responsibility or how to even walk away from this conversation. From her. It would break him to turn away if it hurt him to think about even taking his eyes off of her. How could she ask him to just…go back to the way things were? Sure there was a time in his life when he didn't have Miyako, when he didn't even know her, but the minute they met, the second he saw her his life was revolutionized. Everything before that seemed empty and meaningless and yeah, maybe he did good, but he did _better_ with her.

But this was Miyako in front of him. The strong, capable, brilliant women he fell in love with and he shouldn't be surprised. She was a women who could take care of herself, but instead took care of everyone else around her; including him. Who would he be without her? He might still be a vice-captain, but he wouldn't be the same vice-captain. He wouldn't care as much as he does now. She was able to ignite a spark in him that blazed into the fires that drove him.

She was right. But he still didn't want to leave.

"How?" Kaien asked and holy hell his voice was shaking. "How do…how can I?"

"The same way you do everything else. Put one foot in front of the other."

A brilliant smile burst across Miyako's face and Kaien was pretty sure he was going to cry. Pride be damned he was so confused and hurt and cold.

It was _so cold_.

"This is your chance." Miyako rushed forward and grabbed his shaking hands and held them palm up in her own. Her fingers weren't cold anymore, in fact they felt warm against his skin.

Ice. Blue crystals cracked and shifted as they grew from a pool in his palms and slowly curled their way up his fingers. Miyako drew her hands away as the ice began to spread faster around his hands and up his wrists, his arms, slowly wrapping around him like glass snakes.

"Rukia."

Kaien looked at his wife who nodded. "Kaien, you have to go."

"N…no." Kaien felt his breath seize in his lungs. Not so soon. Just another minute longer! "How? Miyako? How?" He knew she would know what he was asking. _How am I supposed to keep walking like you want me to?_

"Kaien, you need to move." Placing her hands on his chest she smiled; a devilish little twist in her mouth that she always got when she was challenging someone to do what they believed to be impossible. "I love you."

Kaien opened his mouth to respond, but the breath rushed from his lungs as she pushed him away and he fell through the air and the black, and when he hit the bottom there was rain and wind and ice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Just want to take the time to thank all of you who are reading this and especially those of you who left kudos. I am really happy people are enjoying this so far even though it's only two chapters in.
> 
> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up- I've been on a long over do vacation and decided to leave basically anything related to real life back home, but I'm wrapping up the last days here and thought this was an okay way to get back into the swing of things. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave feedback and until next time, thanks again!


	3. Defining Normal

She knew she could win and that's when Rukia found herself in a dance, lost in a pattern of pushing and pulling to the music of ice and water. 

Somewhere between Metastacia deflecting everything she could throw at it and Captain Ukitake gathering his feet long enough to distract the hollow, she had managed to freeze Kaien's body and that's where it got weird.

Sode no Shirayuki moved and she felt her spirit move, but she didn't move. There was a push and a pull in her ice that rang through the air and right into her very core. It made her heart skip beats and her breathes come quick and choked as if there was water filling her lungs. Her Zanpakutō felt hot in her hands but all around them the rain slowed and the puddles on the ground froze. She could feel every blade of grass, every leaf on the forest floor. Every rain drop hovering around her, every cell in Kaien's body.

He wasn't dead. The hollow hadn't taken him completely, there was still hope. She knew she had to do something. That's when she felt it; the ice pulling at her and as she closed her eyes she could see it move and pulse as it wound around Kaien's spirit; separating him from the hollow's dark binding tendrils. All around a small white spirit blue and silver battled black and red and Kaien's body looked so frail and breakable.

Spirits were so easily broken and for the first time ever Rukia realized just what she was fighting for.

A spirit can't defend itself. _That's what I'm here for._

Racing forward Rukia cut at the black wisps trying to break her ice. Her sword went right through them and they didn't stop their assault, but she heard an inhuman scream and found herself smiling. She wasn't going to lose this round. She wasn't going to lose Kaien or her Captain.

Water surged and there was a deafening echo of glass shattering all around and Rukia found herself on her knees, Kaien in her hands, shivering and coughing up water like he had just been pulled from the bottom of a lake. She quickly turned him onto his side and looked around the glen frantically. Captain Ukitake was shakily picking himself off the ground; his captain's jacket had been discarded at some point and his remaining uniform was torn and bloody. Her Zanpakutō was yards away, sticking up out of the ground with the blade down, its white hilt encased with ice. She didn't even remember letting go of it. She didn't remember…much of anything.

That's when the silence hit her. The hollow was gone.

The hollow was gone and Kaien was here and… she won? She won.

_She won._

* * *

 

The fact of the matter was that being near death and being involved with death was something that came with his job. Being a Shinigami, Kaien's very existence was to deal with death in every shape and form that one could find it. The good, the bad, the depressing, the happy and everything in between; death took many, many shapes and he was familiar with them all.

His job was to fight for, against, and with death; to do everything he could to keep it equal and balanced while his heart still beat, his lungs still breathed, and his body still moved. At least… that's what he wanted to believe. Whether he could truly live up to those words now was a different matter entirely.

Miyako was not as lucky as Kaien this past month. She was slain by the same creature that had very nearly succeeded in killing Kaien. And now with his wife, his best friend, and his greatest reason for living gone, Kaien wasn't sure how he was supposed to keep the equilibrium between life and death when his own life was now completely out of balance.

The monster was cunning -especially for a hollow- with its ability to take over the bodies of Shinigami and control them. Miyako was sent out with a team to investigate after another group of Shinigami disappeared and Kaien had had a bad feeling at the time about letting her go, but she had insisted that it would be fine. Her smile convinced him…it always did. Soft, pure, and confident; the minute her delicate lips curled upwards, the strong Vice-Captain Shiba would instantly cave every time.

Miyako was the only one to return that night— unconscious and beaten, but breathing. That was all Kaien had cared about; she would wake up, her wounds would heal, and life would go on.

And then she woke up.

She woke up and left a trail of bodies in her wake as she escaped the sanctuary of the 13th Squad and fled to a widespread forest in Rukongai. Kaien knew from the minute he saw the massacre that his wife was already gone, but that didn't stop him. He knew she was dead and he knew it was a trap, but still Kaien threw all caution to the wind and took off after Miyako into those woods and searched. Searched and searched and searched until his feet were hurting and his clothes were torn and his body was so hungry and thirsty that the idea of food or water made him sick.

If it was for vengeance, purpose, or just because he had lost all sense of sanity he couldn't tell.

The whole night was a blur in his mind: searching for Metastacia in between raindrops and lightning strikes, followed by a short and very one-sided battle once he found the vile Hollow. His Captain had shown up somewhere in the middle along with Kuchiki Rukia and saved him before he too could be consumed and lost like Miyako. He had screamed for them to go; to leave him with the hollow so that he could exact his revenge, so he could join her. Nothing else mattered to him at that moment. But two days later he was waking up in the fourth squad buried under some smothering emotion he couldn't describe. He was angry for being alive and uncertain about how to carry on without Miyako.

He had friends and mentors there alongside him but it felt like forever since he realized he wasn't alone. His body healed quickly and he resumed his duties but it was like he was walking through a dream. Like the past month was nothing more than just a really bad nightmare and he would wake up soon, but in the end he knew the reality of it all. She was gone and he was alive and he had to press on no matter what because, as his Captain told him, that is what Miyako would have wanted him to do. To keep doing his job and to continue to be the person she fell in love with.

So he buckled down and tried his best to put on a good face and keep his usual jokes rolling like he always had, but that was exhausting on a good day. He was tired and feeling like anything but himself and while no one said anything to him directly, he knew that everyone could see it. He noticed the way they tried to laugh a little too much at his cracks and the way they picked up his slack when he forgot to do something in his duties. No one would get annoyed if he was late or blame him for snapping in a moment of emotion. He appreciated it at first, but now it was starting to get on his nerves.

He wanted everyone to treat him the way they used to because maybe if they did that, he could start to feel more like his old self. But the catch twenty-two was that unless he started acting like his old self first they wouldn't treat him that way. So it was up to him in the end to change, but he couldn't find the motivation to do that.

Not here, not right now.

Kaien looked at the ornate headstone in front of him where he sat on his knees; its usual grey was reflecting a deep orange from the setting sun behind him. Reaching out he traced the simple rose above Miyako's name and let his arm fall limply back to his lap. He knew there was a reason to keep moving forward, he just didn't know how to put one foot in front of the other right now. He would figure it out again one day or at least… that's what he desperately hoped. He felt like he knew who he was supposed to be, but at the same time he'd forgot how to be that person.

_She told me to keep walking and I will._ Somehow. Some way.

Soft, wary footsteps shuffled through the gravel behind him and stopped a couple of meters away; Kaien didn't need to turn around to know whose light steps they were. Usually he would have been able to sense her presence long before he would hear her, but lately everyone has been catching him off guard. "Kuchiki, what did I tell you about sneaking up on your senior officer?"

"S-sorry," Rukia cut off as Kaien turned to face her, forcing his cheekiest grin in some ploy to let her know he was just trying to joke around. It wasn't very convincing. Still, Rukia smiled back and tried to counter the uncomfortable air she felt more often than not around her vice-captain these days. "Captain Ukitake is looking for you."

"Is he now?" Kaien stood up stiffly. He had been kneeling for a long time; longer than he had been intending, which was a usual occurrence recently. Time swept past him and he wasn’t sure if it was too fast or too slow, but in either case it was ticking by and he was staying stagnant. "Where might I find our dearest Captain?"

"He is still in his office."

"Geez, this late?" Kaien shook his head as he walked towards Rukia and slung an arm over her shoulder to drag her along with him. The young girl always looked full of life, her large eyes shone with curiosity and she was always eager to learn something new. Kaien had spent many days training with her but ever since Miyako's death, he had barely seen her. He felt bad about keeping his distance but Rukia took it with the same ease as she did most other things.

The two walked in silence for a while and Rukia eventually shrugged out of his arm to trail behind Kaien a couple of steps. She seemed to be doing that a lot recently; staring at his back as he walked away, his shoulders a little lower than they used to be and his feet less sure of where they were walking. She wanted to talk with him but she didn't know what to say. She had never been very good at comforting others, especially those she looked up too. They were supposed to be the strong ones, the ones who knew what to do and where to go. He was the one that had taught her to use her Zanpakutō; he was the one that was there when she discovered its beautiful shikai form. He had hugged her and told her she was on her way to be a great Shinigami.

Now he was lost and she was useless. Rukia found herself in that position a lot and she hated it more than anything else.

It was a short walk to Captain Ukitake's office, but Kaien took his time and it was almost dark by the time he was knocking on the captain's door. Rukia left with a quick bow and good-bye, and Kaien watched her dash off down the hall before turning back to the closed door when a voice spoke up from beyond it.

"Kaien, you should know better than to knock on my door." The older Captain's gentle voice was muffled behind the closed door. He smiled as Kaien poked his head inside and gestured across the table where a steaming cup of tea was sitting. "You never had to do that in the past so you don't need to start now. Take a seat."

Kaien cringed as he thought about his stiff knees. "I've been sitting for a while; I think I'll stay standing if that's okay."

Ukitake nodded. He looked over his vice-captain quickly as he slipped into the room, shutting the door behind him before putting a piece of paper that had been on his lap on the table. Kaien looked like his old self minus the slouch in his stature, but Ukitake knew better. The vice-captain was tired and lacking motivation, the Captain hoped he was about to do the right thing. He slid the paper across the table letting his fingers linger on the top a moment before leaning back. "You have been given a new temporary assignment."

Kaien didn't move for a second, eyeing the paper warily like it was a bowl of old fried rice he wasn't sure he wanted to eat or not. Slowly he stepped forward and picked up the paper and read it over once. Twice. When his eyes went to the top of the paper for the third time Ukitake began to get nervous. He couldn't tell if Kaien was angry, glad, or even if he thought it was some joke, which is what the old Kaien would have played at after reading the notice just one time through.

Kaien looked up at his Captain in disbelief; this couldn't be serious, it had to be some joke. Temporary as it was, they were expecting him to leave the squad for an extended period of time? Was his demeanor falling apart that much? Had Captain Ukitake and the rest of his friends lost faith in his abilities as a vice-captain?

"Sir," Kaien started slowly as he looked Ukitake dead in the eyes. "This says that I am being sent into the field to supervise over a town in the human world called Karakura?"

Captain Ukitake simply nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy that all of you are enjoying this! Thanks again to everyone who left kudos and those of you who just took the time to give this story a chance. 
> 
> I know this chapter was a little shorter, but I'll post the next one real soon- if not today. Thanks again and till next time! -Siri


	4. Defining Normal

Karakura town wasn't very special to those who lived there. It was a pretty place and quiet for a town of its size, but other than that it was a typical town; schools, shopping centers, parks, kids playing, adults working, the sun rose in the east and set in the west. Things went on as they should and people never gave a second thought about anything that wasn't normal. Well most people didn't.

Ichigo Kurosaki wasn't like most people. He knew more about the unusual than most; definitely more than anyone else in Karakura town. Aside from his own strange orange hair, Ichigo had a slightly demented and overly enthusiastic father who ran a small medical clinic in their home, two sisters; one that was more like a brother and the other who was more like a mother, and to top it all off he could see, speak to, and interact with spirits. This had been his life for as long as he could remember.

When he was little, spirits used to frighten him. Of course a seven year old who could see old man Kiroji in his front yard a week after he died had every reason to be a little freaked out. Sometimes, they'd follow him once they realized he could interact with them, asking him questions about things he couldn't even fathom to answer. 'Why can you see me?' 'Can you help me?' 'Where am I going to go?'

Then... well _that_ happened.

Now that he was in high school, and had been through enough to stiffen the biggest of crybabies, he didn't mind being able to see them so much. It became something that just was instead of something that shouldn't be. He took it upon himself to help those he could see; whether it was to help them move on or just feel better about their situation, he thought it was the least he could do. After all he felt, for the most part, that he couldn't do much in the first place.

_That's why she-_

The sun was setting with a dozen reds and pinks stretching across the sky. The sounds of rush hour traffic and kids running home from their after school activities were dying down as people settled in for dinner. Ichigo decided to take a small detour on his way home and turned down a quiet street a few blocks away from his house. He came up to a small intersection and stopped to look down the three streets in front of him. A couple cars were parked in front of houses and off to his left he saw an older man walking away with his small dog trailing after him. He could hear the news blasting from the house on his right and from somewhere in the neighborhood there was the delicious scent of a large dinner being cooked. Ichigo put a hand to his stomach as it rumbled and crossed the intersection towards a telephone pole on the corner diagonal from him.

Tied around the pole was a small, worn out bow that waved back and forth in the light breeze. The ends were frayed from the elements and the once bright pink color had faded to a bleached out white-pink. On the little ledge of sidewalk between the bottom of the pole and the drop to the street was a little glass vase with a single wilting, white daisy. There was no water left in the bottle and the green steam had withered to a sickly brown color which was slowly seeping into the petals of the tiny flower.

Sitting on the curb watching the daisy bristle in the wind was a little girl, no older than ten. She wore a simple pink jumper and her long brown hair was pulled into two high pony tails that fell to her shoulders. She turned as Ichigo's shadow covered the vase and jumped up, her facing bursting into a huge grin. "You came back!"

Ichigo smiled and nodded as he knelt down to be eye level with her. "I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but everyone says that at first. Then they stop coming." The girl looked down at the daisy just as the wind tugged at a petal. Tiny desperate hands grabbed for the little petal as it lifted into the air, but it drifted through her transparent fingers.

"I'll bring you a new flower tomorrow." Ichigo said. "But you have to promise me something."

"Like what?"

"You need to hurry up and move on." Ichigo put a hand on the girl's head as she started to shake it back and forth. Sometimes it was a gift that he could touch spirits, other times not so much. "Your parents would want you to and it will help them feel better. You can't just hang around here forever, right?"

Tears were suddenly in the girl's eyes. "But…I'm scared. Will it hurt?"

"I honestly don't know, but you'll definitely go to a better place."

"How do you know?"

"Because my mom is already there." Ichigo smiled sadly as he stood up. He held out a hand and extended his pinky. "Promise me and I'll bring you a new flower."

The girl looked at his finger for a minute before looping her own pinky around it. She nodded firmly. "Okay, I'll try my best."

"Good." Ichigo turned as he said goodnight and made his way through the crisscrossing streets back to his house.

It was frustrating that that was the extent of what he could do. Talk, make a kind gesture and even if the little girl did move on, what did he really do? Blowing out a long breath Ichigo looked up at the few clouds in the sky that were sipping by with the breeze. It had gotten remarkably cooler since had had left school; not unusual for a spring night, but still something felt… skewed. It was almost like being able to taste smoke in the air, but not be able to smell or see it.

The street lights were coming on just as he turned up the path to the side door of his house. "I'm home."

He heard dishes clanking together from the kitchen and a high voice called back. "Welcome home!" Ichigo's sister, Yuzu, poked her head into the hall and smiled as he put his bag down and slipped on his slippers. "Dinner is ready."

Dinner started out normally enough. Bantering between father and son, eye rolling from the tomboy sister and gentle but futile attempts of stopping said bantering from the mom sister. Ichigo stood up to serve himself his second bowl of rice when a gust of wind rattled the kitchen's bay windows and the table suddenly tilted sideways. Ichigo dropped his bowl and gripped the edges of the table to steady himself and took a deep breath trying to stave off the grey hazing around the edges of his vision. His stomach was in one big knot and his chest heaved trying to get one good gulp of air.

"Ichigo?" His father's usual playful grin had disappeared, replaced by worried wide eyes.

Waiting until after his head cleared a little Ichigo looked down at the table where his bowl lay on its side rice spilling out into the table. He quickly scooped the rice back into the small bowl with his hands and stepped away from the table. "I- I'm sorry, it was a long day at school. I'm not very hungry." He glanced at his dad quickly. "I'm going to go to bed early."

Without regard for Yuzu's worried inquiry he strode out of the room and up the stairs to his room closing the door with a rough shove. He leaned on his desk trying to catch his breath. It felt like he had just run the entire way from his house to school and back again, and with the way he was sweating and shaking he probably looked like that too. A few deep breaths later Ichigo felt trusted his legs enough to take the couple steps to his bed. He sat down heavily and pushed open the window to situate himself against the sill. Ichigo closed his eyes against the cool breeze that blew in causing a chill to run up his spine.

_What the hell was that?_

He’s had similar reactions before, but never so severe. It was usually around a spirit, sometimes they felt like normal people and other times they made him feel sick to his stomach. Although, he could never figure out why some felt different from others; maybe it was the amount of time they had been dead or something to do with the person they were when they were alive. Who knew? In the end, the spirit was a spirit and he had to try his best to help each one regardless of how they made him feel.

_But there aren't any spirits in the house and I've never been able to feel one unless it was close so-_

Bang!

The sound of Karin's door rattled the walls as it slammed shut from across the hall.

"Karin!" Yuzu's worried voice piped up from downstairs. "What's wrong? Both you and Ichigo aren't feeling well? It wasn't my food was it? Karin!"

Karin's door creaked open. "Dinner was fine! Leave me alone!" _Slam!_

Ichigo frowned. If only Karin and himself were influenced it had to be a spirit. She wasn't as sensitive as he was, but she could still see them from time to time, so if he had been affected so severely it wasn't much of a surprise she had been as well. Yuzu could only sense things and that was only when they were really close so she probably hadn't felt anything. His father…well his father was oblivious to so many things that not being able to sense or see ghosts wasn't much of a surprise.

Letting his head fall back against the windowsill Ichigo let out a long breath and peered out to the street. The street light in front of his house was still out as it had been for the past two weeks. _Wonder when someone is going to fix that._ Not that it really mattered; the houses and other street lights were more than enough for people to see by. He could hear the patter of footsteps on pavement from a couple houses away, probably someone taking a walk after dinner.

No…

Their footsteps were too fast, too hard on the pavement. It was a determined footstep; someone on a mission. Ichigo waited until the person was within his view. Without the light in front of his house he could only make out general features. A guy judging from the spiked mess on top of his head, taller, wearing-

A gee?

Ichigo sat up straight, squinting his eyes to try and get a better look, but as soon as he shifted the figure disappeared. _No, no I definitely wasn't seeing things. That was there. Right?_

Person in strange clothes, almost passing out at the dinner table, Karin being affected as well…

Something was definitely out there and the fact that his stomach still hadn't untied itself told Ichigo it wasn't a good thing or going away anytime soon. He was up and out the front door of his house and running down the street barefoot before he realized what he was doing or before Yuzu's questioning yell registered in his head. _Gunna have to come up with a good one for this…_

At first Ichigo didn't even know where he was going, but then he recognize a house he had passed on the way home from school. He sped up his pace; feet pounding painfully on asphalt as he wove through the streets and came to a skittering halt at an intersection desperately looking around. No one was in sight, but a small bleached out white bow laid in the middle of the road. A couple feet away lay the white flower, smashed amongst a pile of shattered glass. Ichigo walked to the middle of the street and bent down to pick up the bow. His fingers clasped around the frayed silk when-

_Why am I on the ground?_

He tried to push himself up off his stomach, but it felt like there was a ton of bricks on his back. Ichigo gasped for air as he twisted only to catch a glimpse of a giant white claw buried in the street to his right. And to his left. He was pinned and hot breath blew the back of his hair as a low growl echoed in his ear. Ichigo put his arms out in front of him and gripped the gravel in the road and pulled. Slowly he inched himself from between the two claws and as soon as his hips were clear he slid out and rolled over to get a look at his attacker.

_Oh that's just not normal!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, guys! I love you. Thank you for the kudos and the messages and the fanmail/asks if you contacted me on Tumblr. I appreciate it immensely. -Siri


	5. Tactics

_This is far more fun than it should be._ Sōsuke Aizen had to bite his tongue to keep himself from bursting into a full on grin as he walked behind his fellow captains out of the meeting hall. It hadn't been a particularly interesting meeting; they never were. Updates from field troops, changes within the thirteen squads, some captains complaining about… well he hadn't actually paid attention to anything after he had heard the names 'Kaien Shiba' and 'Karakura Town'.

His mind had exploded with a thousand different thoughts about his plans; all of them. The ones that had been implemented, the ones that were in the process of panning out, and even the ones that weren't quite moving yet. There were new plans as well; new ideas that were just begging his brilliant mind to pick them up, spread them over a table so he could dissect them, and reassemble them better than they were before. That was, of course, how it worked. Nothing was petty or useless after he was finished with it. For him, picking up a rock and polishing it into a priceless gem was easier than the process of selling the gem to a greedy noble.

Everything was easy for him. Of course no one knew just _how_ easy. If they did they would have been able to see that for over one hundred years he’d been pulling at carefully laid strings to weave a picture of perfection; his own perfection. _And with my flawlessness comes exactness of the world._

Everything would be as it should be, not the broken excuse of a mess things were now. He wondered how the mindless dribble that walked around Soul Society didn't see their world for what it was; a complete waste. A nonsensical cast system of kings, nobles, fighters, farmers, and piss poor people doing things that never mattered for longer than anyone could remember a person's name. Well it wouldn't be that way for much longer.

He had finally reached the moment when all his work was paying off and all of his waiting was going to come to an end. Not that the work had been any variety of hard, difficult, or even daunting, but the waiting had started to grind on his nerves after the first thirty years of throwing things into action. Waiting to find the right people… ah no he waited to find the right pawns, on top of sitting around for the perfect moment to start the small gears of his much larger machine. It was a game of patience, a tactical war that only he was aware of; an epic battle that he would win before anyone knew what was coming.

Sure things didn't always go exactly as he planned them, but that was part of the fun. It would have been boring if everything had fallen into place like the pieces to every game of 'Go' he ever played. When Kaien had actually survived his encounter with the hollow that killed his wife, it was a twist that sent a thrill through Aizen. At first he was angry about Ukitake getting involved, the older Captain always had to get involved, but he soon realized the benefits he would be able to reap by having the now grieving Shiba around. He was definitely a better subject than Rukia Kuchiki. He was just as likely to take the bait as Rukia, but Kaien would hold onto it for different and, quite possibly, better reasons.

If Kaien had died Rukia would need someone to take his place. That was easy enough; find someone who looked and acted the part and the girl would be hooked, probably. Shiba needed someone to relate to, someone to empathize with, and that would be the sinker. A replacement is just that; something you get attached to for a short time, but changing circumstances could always tip the scales in the wrong direction. When you find someone you see yourself in, that's where the bonds start, where friendship puts its ridiculously stubborn foot on the ground.

The girl would have been easier to use; grieving over the loss of her beloved vice-captain and mentor. She was never an incredibly sturdy person to begin with; mediocre combat and Kidō skills at best and a 'Yes Sir' flew out of her mouth easier than her own name. How she had managed to produce a Zanpakutō like Sode no Shirayuki baffled Aizen, but he'd figure that out eventually as well. He had never seen her use it widely as to date, maybe it was just one of the other great blessing she received without actually earning it, like being adopted into the Kuchiki family.

That had thrown everyone for a loop and that was also Aizen's biggest problem at the moment. The young Captain Kuchiki was an essential asset to his prior plans. Well he still could be, but he'd have to use the brash Captain in a different way than he had been planning. Easy enough; file that thought for stretching later.

Kaien was more difficult to work into his plans. Well, 'difficult' in the same way that getting Captain Kyorako to drink was difficult. Put the bottle down in front of him and he was done for. Put _that_ in front of Kaien and he was done for.

"You look like you're thinkin' about something real hard Captain." Aizen didn't have to turn to know who spoke up behind him. Gin Ichimaru's broken grammar and grating accent was enough to give him away. The young Captain picked up his pace to match Aizen's and turned to him with his usual smug smile. "The meeting wasn't that gripping."

"There's more on my mind than just a meeting Gin." Aizen's lip curled into his usual sickenly sweet smile and he turned to face his fellow Captain. Peripheral showed him that Captain Hitsugaya was scowling behind them. He raised his voice just enough, "I was thinking about how we might be able to take a little bit of extra work away from Captain Ukitake's squad. They seem a little overwhelmed since Vice-Captain Shiba was assigned to field work."

"Curious that they put him on that assignment." Gin said, almost as if to himself. "You'd think a Vice-Captain would have more important work to do."

Aizen tilted his head to the side; pretending to think. "Ah, but he did just lose his wife. I can only imagine the grief he must be feeling. Perhaps he just needs a small change of pace until he can find his feet again."

"Sounds like you got it all figured out."

"Hardly, this is merely speculation." _Or not._

Gin nodded, the slightest break in his smile flashing his white teeth. "Well you certainly are being generous thinkin' about helping them."

Aizen waved a hand through the air as if to shoo away a fly. "Nonsense, it's what any one of us should do." He looked over his shoulder flashing a grin at the short Captain behind him. "Don't you agree Captain Hitsugaya?"

The younger Captain's turquoise eyes stared at him, surprised by being suddenly let into the conversation. He recovered quickly, glancing off to the side. "Of course, if you should think of anything let me know if my squad can help."

Aizen nodded. "I will, thank you Captain."

Hitsugaya folded his hands into his sleeves uncomfortably and nodded as he turned to meet Aizen's gaze again. "As you said, it is what any of us should do. Have a good afternoon." He broke off around a corner, disappearing in a blink.

Gin chuckled to himself. "Such a warm conversation." He tilted his head forward in a small mock bow. "Be seeing you around Captain."

_Nice one Gin_.

Aizen let teeth flash the sky as he looked up at a few passing clouds with a grin wide enough to taunt the sun.

Oh yes, he was having _far_ too much fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both this chapter and the last were fairly short so I put them both up today! Hope you enjoy- this chapter with Aizen was my absolute favorite to write so far. Thanks again for reading! -Siri


	6. Weird

Big. Ugly. Weird. 

Halloween was still months off and Ichigo was pretty sure no one was in town filming a horror movie so what the hell was a creature like that doing here.

_You ask yourself this as if it would be normal somewhere else…_

Ichigo bounded to his feet still trying to shake off the nausea rolling up into his throat. Not only did the thing in front of him look repulsive, but its smell was enough to make even the hardest stomachs turn inside out. The talons that had pinned him to the ground were attached to one long leathery leg which in turn was attached to a feathered bird-like body. On top sat a short feathered neck and a long white masked face with two beady black eye holes.

Feathers ruffled and wings shot out to the side and Ichigo suddenly remembered he was still pretty close to the creature. Too close. A sharp dive to the left was barely enough to keep from getting a feather duster to the face, but the impact to his shoulder was enough to send him flying down the street. A few dizzying rolls later and Ichigo staggered to his feet again ignoring the pain in his shoulder as the creature let out an ear piercing screech and hopped on its one leg towards him. If the monster wasn't twelve feet tall and two hops away from killing him, Ichigo might have actually stopped to laugh at how ridiculous the thing looked. But he liked to think he was smarter than that. A turn of the heal and-

"No! Don't go after him!"

_No!_

Ichigo stumbled two steps into his retreating sprint and spun around to see a small pink figure standing in the middle of the road between him and the masked monster.

"What are you doing? Run!" Ichigo didn't hesitate. There was no time to hesitate. To think. The last time someone stood between him and an attacker they died.

His mother died.

Running back he grabbed the little girl under her arms and ran. It wasn't right that this little ten year old girl had more guts than him to stand up to that creature. It made him feel pretty pathetic. He had promised he was going to stop feeling that way; he was going to stop torturing himself over this stuff and do something about it.

_Well now what?_ He thought wryly as he rounded the corner at the end of the street. Maybe next time he should think about where he was going to run to instead of why he was running. Of course that would imply that there would be a next time.

Not the time for this. Ichigo took another turn onto a familiar back road and skidded to a halt as he came up to the main road near his house. No cars. No people. Good. Sprinting across the street and down a short embankment he stopped at the edge of the river that cut his town in two. He put the little girl down keeping a hand on her shoulder and stared up at the road.

_Did it follow us? I couldn't have lost it…_

The burst of air was all the warning he had before feathers came down from above.

* * *

 

 Kaien kept a firm grip on his Zanpakutō as he leapt from roof to roof over a small neighborhood. When he got back to Soul Society he was going to have a few words with his captain. 

Karakura town was weird. And that was being nice. Ever since he stepped through the gate he could feel a strong pressure. Not from a single person or a collective of people, but from the ground; the Earth itself. Spirit was everywhere; the gardens, the river and lakes, the trees, and even under the roadways, sidewalks, and buildings. He had been on short missions in the human world before, mostly training missions, but this place was different.

And he didn't like it one bit.

He had read the reports from the previous Shinigami who had patrolled this town and they had mentioned something similar, but reading something and experiencing it were two very different things. Maybe he had been spending too much time doing vice-captain paper work to remember that. _Maybe that's why Captain Ukitake sent me here._

Or not. He still couldn't fathom why his captain had pushed the other vice-captains to assign him to the human world and he had been too angry after getting the assignment to ask. He packed and left still red in the cheeks. Assignments down on Earth were good for experience sure, but how long had he been around now? They were for those who needed training in something they hadn't done before, getting practical experience under their belts and strengthening your checklist of "things I've done as part of the 13 Guard Squads". His list was pretty full of check marks.

It was embarrassing to be one of the oldest vice-captains around and then to be handed a rookie's assignment. He couldn't even say good-bye to his squad or his friends on other teams. He was just too discomfited. Had they all really lost that much faith him in? Was he failing that much at his job? Or maybe the captain did it to give him a slap of reality.

_Well if that was your plan Captain, it worked._ He hadn't realized how out of touch with things he had been until he started focusing on the job in Karakura town. That was more discomforting to think about than the possible reasoning behind the assignment. He was still going to sit down and have a long talk when he got back. A very _very_ long talk. Preferably somewhere that nobody would hear him yell at a respected captain who had been around for hundreds of years.

_There you are!_

Kaien landed lightly in the middle of a road eyeing the hollow in the sky circling like a vulture waiting for it’s soon to be meal to die. He had been chasing the dull minded creature for over an hour, which was another extremely embarrassing thing to think about. How could such a low level hollow manage to evade him so easily?

Easy answer; he was distracted when he shouldn’t be. Shaking his head he drew his sword out and frowned up at the sky watching the hollow circle about it let loose a screech and its body went stiff as it went in for a dive like a bird diving for its…prey.

_Crap!_

Kaien barely registered the high pitched yell from the small girl on the river bank before he was in the air and barreling into the hollow with all his weight throwing it off course. Stopping himself midair he watched as it fell into the river with a huge splash and flailed around like a fish out of water. He took the moment to take in his surroundings: one hollow currently trying to right itself on its foot, one girl with a spirit chain hanging from her chest and one very ruffled orange haired teenager guarding her and staring up at him with narrowed, wary eyes.

No chain _._ Kaien frowned and then very nearly dropped his Zanpakutō. _No chain? Then that means he's-_

A wave of water splashed up from under him and Kaien took his sword in both hands and looked down. _Right, hollow first, strange human later._

The hollow, now rightly on its single leg, flapped its wings vigorously, but to no avail. Weighed down with water the creature wasn't going anywhere. Knowing this, its next plan was to try and hop its way to shore and water splashed all around as it struggled to wade against the current, but with each small hop it took it went backwards instead of forwards, barely being able to keep its awkward balance as it wound up to try again.

Kaien couldn't hold in a chuckle. It really did look ridiculous.

"What are you laughing at?" A cracked voiced plea came from the river bank. The orange haired kid was staring right at him; eyes wide and mildly panicked. "Kill that stupid thing before it can fly again!"

A small sigh on his lips, Kaien straightened, dove across the air and with one clean slice of his sword cut the hollow's mask in half. One scream and a little more flailing later and the hollow slowly dispersed into the air around him. The river calmed and the sounds of a spring night returned with a chorus of chirping crickets and croaking frogs.

And the creatures of the night were interrupted with a violent curse. "What the _hell_ was that?"

Kaien looked down at the river bank and crooked his mouth to the side. Considering the circumstances he would say the human was actually handling the situation with a great deal of grace. Most people who get caught up in the after math of a hollow attack just end up running away…or in circles. Especially since those people usually can't actually see the creature and just witness the cracks and small explosions in the road coming from seemingly nowhere. The fact that this kid was seeing those and the physical form of the hollow, Kaien had to give him bonus points for only cursing.

He let himself fall to the riverbank with a small splat onto the wet grass and looked over the teen. The hollow had obviously gotten a couple good hits in on him. Shirt torn on his sleeve, he could see a dark bruise appearing on the boy's shoulder. "Are you hurt?"

The kid looked startled. "Uh… no, not really. It got one lucky hit in."

Kaien nodded and leaned over to peer at the little girl standing behind the teen. She had her face nestled into his back and his shirt bunched up in tiny fists. "How about you little miss? Did the hollow hurt you?"

The girl opened up one eye and peered at him. "No, he protected me." She let go of his shirt and sniffed a little and looked up at the teen. "Why did it try to hurt you?"

The boy shook his head. "I don't know. I thought it had gotten you."

"It was about to, but then you showed up."

Kaien frowned as he watched the two talk as if it was totally fine for a spirit and a human to be chatting after getting attacked by a monster neither of them new anything about. A hollow going after a spirit was nothing new, but a hollow that had dinner in its claws…or claw… and then letting it go because a human was around? It _could_ happen, feasibly. Whenever the stronger spiritual pressure was the hollows were sure to follow, but still to toss any spirit away, tiny as it may be…

What wasn't bizarre here? Strange spiritual pressure, an orange haired boy who could see him and talk to a spirit girl like it was nothing, hollows acting differently. Yes, Karakura town is definitely weird.

Kaien looked at the orange haired boy as he sheathed his sword. "Who are you? You are human right?"

The boy raised a thin eyebrow and eyed the weapon on his belt. "The last time I checked I was considered a human being and shouldn't I be asking _you_ that?"

_Good point._ The situation was probably a little stranger for the teen than it was for him. Kaien scratched his head and let out a long winded sigh. No one ever told him what he’d have to say if a human caught sight of him. Not that it would matter, after all was said and done this kid wouldn’t remember any of it anyway. For as rare as it was for a human to see a Shinigami they were pretty well prepared with memory altering devises.

Still, might as well give him credit where it due. Kaien crossed his hands over his chest and began slowly. "I am a Shinigami. I'm patrolling your town to make sure hollows, like that monster that just tried to eat you, don't harm the people who live here." He looked down at the girl and smiled. "Or hurt spirits who haven't found their way home yet."

"Uh….huh." The orange haired teen blinked at him. He was processing, but Kaien couldn’t tell if he was believing his explanation or not. After a minute the kid twisted his mouth a little. "Name's Ichigo Kurosaki, thanks for keeping that thing from eating us, I guess."

That went better than Kaien expected. Maybe he was in shock?

"Ichigo." Kaien repeated his name and nodded; an old habit he had picked up while trying to remember names of new Shinigami that joined his squad. He looked down at the girl again and knelt down to be eye level with her. "How about you, do you have a name?"

"Karra." She said grabbing onto Ichigo's hand.

Spirit and human holding hands and Ichigo wasn’t batting an eye so this certainly wasn’t a new thing for the teen. _He must have extremely high spiritual abilities._ Which in the past had proven both a blessing and a curse for humans with them.

Shaking his head mentally, Kaien smiled at the girl. "Well Karra, there is another very important part of my job. When I meet a soul like you, who hasn't moved on I'm supposed to help them."

"Help me? How? I… I don't want to go!" She dove behind Ichigo hiding in her face in his dirty shirt.

Ichigo twisted around and pried her off his shirt and held both her hands. "Hey what did you promise me this afternoon?"

"That I would try my best to move on…" she sniffed, "But…if I leave now I won't be able to see the flower you bring me tomorrow."

Ichigo frowned and looked up and down the river bank. Letting go of her hands he dashed up the slope towards the street and out of site. The girl watched nervously and was about to take off after him when Kaien grabbed her shoulder.

“Give him a minute. He’ll be back.” And somehow Kaien knew what Ichigo was doing and for some reason that made his stomach knot up a little.

_This kid cares._ It wasn’t that Kaien didn’t care, because he did. He really really did, but he would admit before anyone else that he hadn’t been putting his all into his job since he’d come to Karakura Town.

A minute later Ichigo returned with a large pink tulip in his hands and handed it to the girl. "It matches your dress."

Kaien couldn't help but stare at the boy as he showed the flower off. He acts like this is absolutely nothing out of the ordinary. But more than that… Why is he so determined to help this little girl? Is she a family member that passed away? A friend?

"Do you two know each other?" Kaien blurted out before he could stop himself. He cringed as soon as the words left his mouth. "Ah, you don't actually have to answer that."

The two turned to him and both shook their heads. Ichigo put a hand on his hip and shifted his weight. "Karra was hit by a car a couple blocks away from my house a few weeks ago."

"He brings me flowers since my parents stopped coming to visit." The girl looked up at the flower in Ichigo's hand and smiled wide, but the grin quickly faded and her voice dropped to just above a whisper. "He says he wants me to move on so my parents can feel better. He says I'll go somewhere better?"

Kaien nodded putting obvious oddities aside for the moment. He had a job to do right now. "Ichigo is right. You will go to a place called Soul Society. That's where I come from." He smiled as her grey eyes went wide. "It's very different from this world, but you'll have family and friends to take care of you."

Her small hand reached up and grabbed Ichigo's shirt again. "R…really?"

"Really." Kaien stood up and put a hand to his Zanpakutō.

And pink disappeared behind orange in the blink of an eye with a squeal.

Maybe he shouldn't have put his sword away before talking to the ten year old girl about purifying her soul. He drew the sword out slowly and made sure to hold the hilt out in front of him. Ichigo put his hands behind him holding onto the girl and backed up a couple of steps eyeing him guardedly.

"Trust me?"

"Trust the weird guy in an ancient gi who is holding a katana and who just killed a giant feathered monster like he was cutting through butter?" Ichigo shook his head and grumbled under his breath. "And you think me being able to talk to spirits is weird…"

_Okay wrong choice of words_. Kaien sighed and closed his eyes a minute. He put a hand on the bottom of his hilt and drew it away as it warmed under his palm. He held the blade towards himself and showed the bottom of his Zanpakutō to Ichigo. "No blades are going to be used. I'm a Shinigami, not a soul stealer." He gestured to the stamp that was now glowing on the bottom of his hilt. "I will perform a Konsō, or a soul burial. It will send Karra to Soul Society. No swords, no pain, just a small push to help her on her way."

Ichigo stared a moment longer and nodded stepping aside. He deliberately dropped Karra's hand and gave her a small push forward. "It'll be okay?"

Kara looked up at him tears in her eyes, but stepped forward. "Promise it won't hurt?"

Ichigo nodded and Kaien knelt in front of her. "Promise." A small tap to her pale forehead and pink faded away in a small glow of blue. Kaien looked up at Ichigo taking in the teen's impressed nod. He knew what he needed to do next, but there was something about this kid…

_Bad idea._ Kaien reprimanded himself. It was never a good idea to think about breaking protocol. He had to fix Ichigo's memories and move on.

But… "What did you say your last name was?"

"Kurosaki." Brown eyes narrowed. "You never gave me yours."

"Kaien Shiba."

"And you're a Shinigami."

"Yes."

"A death god."

"Not my favorite translation of the name, but yes."

"Right then." Ichigo bit his lips together and shoved his hands in his pocket wincing as the action jarred his shoulder.

The kid was somewhere between complete admittance of the truth in that statement and completely freaking out. Not that Kaien would blame Ichigo. It was hard to accept something that made the life you’ve known so much bigger than you thought it was. When someone or something pushes your horizons to an unreachable place.

For a human who knew about spirits to find out that there were people like Kaien on the other side? Yeah, that had to be crazy.

_But this is getting uncomfortable._

Kaien smirked despite himself and let out a small snort. He put his hands up in front of him as Ichigo eyed him. "I'm sorry this is as awkward for me as it is for you."

"Wanna bet on that?" Ichigo shot back his own lips curling into a smirk. That was a challenge.

"No, no I think you would probably win and I don't carry human money." Kaien cleared his throat and approached Ichigo his hand going to his pocket. He fiddled with the device tapping his index finger against it before withdrawing empty handed.

No, there was something here. There was something there.

Something about Ichigo Kurosaki. Something familiar. Something normal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking forever to get this out. Life will be life and it will continue to kick my ass from time to time. 
> 
> But on a better note thank you guys so much for all the positive feedback! Everyone who left kudos and comments and found me on tumblr- you're the best! Thank you thank you~ See you later -Siri


	7. Morning

Kisuke Urahara yawned as he stared at the steam curling into the air from his teacup. It was only eight in the morning but he was already looking forward to his usual nap in the sunbeam that came in through the windows mid-afternoon. If he could make it that long, anyway; it had been a particularly long night. He was familiar with long nights and he had pulled more all-nighters in his lifetime than he could ever recount, but that didn't mean he liked them. There were many different kinds of long nights; good, bad, fast, and slow. Nights with people he enjoyed being around and nights he wished would just end.

Last night had been…well just not fun. And that always put him in a particular mood.

Luckily, the morning had been less stressful. The kids finished their chores without an uproar (miracle, that) and Tessai was doing a good bit of spring cleaning which Kisuke knew he should be helping with, but he couldn't very well let his tea go cold now, could he? He had other work that needed to be done as well; work, on top of work, on top of work. Work that he had to do and work he didn't exactly need to do and other work he wanted to do. Some that should have been done last week and some that needed to be done today while other works could wait another week or two, but the latter was always the more fun stuff.

But there was a change in the air recently and that was more of a reason for his mood and lack of sleep than anything else. Not for any small amount of time had he noticed that the spiritual pressure in Karakura Town was changing. It wasn't as smooth anymore. It was heavy and turbulent. He would walk down the street and hit a patch that could knock someone who wasn't used to heavy pressure off their feet.

So when the shit hit the fan last night (oh and did it go everywhere) he was already up and prepared to lose sleep.

Still, being tired sucked and if last night was any indication, then Kisuke knew there were going to be many, many more nights that were going to be exactly the same coming up.

Probably in a row. Because that would be just his luck.

* * *

 

At first, Kaien had trouble adjusting to the pace of things in the human world. Sometimes he ran around for a couple of hours, chasing problem hollow after problem hollow and other times he found himself completely at a loss for what to do. 

It was an issue he hadn't run into in…. well, a very long time. It put into perspective just how busy he had been ever since he joined the Shinigami academy what felt like ages ago. Graduation sat him directly into a seat on Squad Thirteen and from there he only went up and his days only got busier. It was never something he complained about; why would he? He was on one of the best squads with a captain who had a good personality (something that seemed to be dwindling lately) and he had great squad mates who never let tedium take a day over.

Mundane was certainly never a word he would use to describe his life. Other people might not agree with him, but he always figured that was because he made sure not to let things get boring. That's why he was the jokester, the one that made up all those crazy ideas that got people in trouble.

Though, since Miyako passed he wasn't that person anymore. No wonder this past month had gone by so slowly.

_Man, I must have been a real buzzkill recently._

Now, after three weeks in the human world, he was slowly settling into a regular schedule. He had never really had any solid day-to-day habits before; each day was different in Soul Society: different matters to deal with, different people to talk to, and different levels to train in. For as stagnant as it seemed with time passing so slowly, soul society was actually consistently changing more often than the human world was.

Kaien only began to notice this when he himself started his own routine. The humans had routines; people got up and went to bed at the same times and were in the same places at the same times every day and some of them ate the same things and some even wore the same clothes. Others did similar things, but just slightly different And he didn't know if that was their habit to change it a little or if they were just doing it to keep things from getting boring. So he too started going to some of the same places each day or walking along the same paths as long as there weren't any hollows in other parts of the town.

His favorite thing to do was to go to the park in the early morning. That was where he could find the most predictable people out of the entire population of Karakura Town. He soon began to recognize the people who would show up in the park, when they would show up, who they would be with, and what they would be talking about or doing.

Just as the sun was rising, the early morning runners would jog through the park; two college aged boys would usually show up first running together while chatting and not too long afterward a younger girl would run by, the music playing from her phone was always loud enough for Kaien to hear and it wasn't long until he recognized the beats of the same song she listened to day after day. An elderly couple would walk through the park twice in the mornings, once to where their destination was and once back to wherever they came from. A giant of a man would come dressed in a fancy suit with buttons stretched so much that they looked ready to pop off and he would sit down and eat bag of fresh steamed buns.

It was never long after the heavy gentleman left that an array of school uniforms would begin to appear: teenagers heading to their various junior and high schools. Some would pass by earlier on random days, usually complaining about classroom cleaning duties in the morning or getting themselves hyped up for an early morning sports practice. But most passed by at the same time every day, walking with the same people or by themselves.

One group of girls walked over the bridge that Kaien made his usual post on giggling about the class president and the captain of the football team (apparently they would never be able to agree on which one was cuter and more gentlemanly) and he wondered if their conversations ever varied. Eight days in a row they walked passed him and he could tell you the names, heights, weights, and hobbies of each boy they mentioned.

_Maybe I should find a new place to sit in the mornings._

But that would negate the idea of a daily routine. Settling down on the railing of the bridge; Kaien easily balanced himself on the thin banister; his legs dangling down to just above the ground. People passed him by without a single glance in his direction. None of them had the slightest clue that he was only feet from them; close enough to hear their words or touch their clothes. It was an odd position to be in, all things considered. Kaien was used to being always being seen, heard, and watched.

Always being watched. As a vice-captain he was like a goldfish in its bowl. Every move he made was watched from every angle; he couldn't do much without someone knowing. Every decision he came to and every emotion he displayed was for everyone to see and interpret as they would. That was just part of being a leader and something Kaien had gotten used to very quickly.

But now that he wasn't in everyone's view, now that he could sit there and not have eyes on him, he was beginning to realize that it was kind of nice to have the solitude. He could take a minute or seven and be introspective if he wanted. He could think about things he usually wouldn't have been able to. He could let out that sigh that he normally would have bit back or put his face in hands in a moment of self-gathering.

Maybe this way Kaien would find it easier to move on because he didn't have to pretend to be who he was. He could take the time to figure everything out for himself first, then the others could see.

When Captain Ukitake was right, he was right. The assignment wasn't that bad; still not what he wanted to be doing… but perhaps it was what he needed to be doing.

Maybe. He was still baffled at how anyone approved of putting a vice-captain on town watching duty. It just wasn't normal.

"Out for a morning stroll?"

Kaien grabbed for the railing he sat on as he looked up and suddenly tipped back, startled. Brown eyes and orange hair looked down at him with raised eyebrows.

"Geez…" Kaien breathed as he righted himself and put a hand to his chest. "You really shouldn't sneak up on a guy like that."

_Even though I probably should have noticed a person with hair as bright as a the sunrise walking towards me…_

"Can anyone here actually sneak up on you?" Ichigo looked around the park. "I got the impression that seeing you isn't exactly the norm for…erm, humans."

"Nope, I think you're the only one." Kaien looked up at the teen and frowned.

He hadn't seen Ichigo since the day he met him by the river and that was almost a week ago now after the teen had raced off spouting about how his sisters were going to kill him for leaving after dark without any shoes. Kaien had tried looking for him for the first couple days after the hollow bought them together, but he quickly decided that maybe it was best to let it be. He had already made the mistake of letting him go without fixing his memories and if Ichigo was content in not seeing Kaien again he didn't really have much of a reason to look for Ichigo in the end. Heaven only knows why he let that slide in the first place.

Then again if Ichigo didn’t want to see Kaien again why was he here? Kaien narrowed his eyes at the teen. "You…don't usually come this way in the morning."

Ichigo shook his head as he leaned against the railing next to Kaien. He set his school bag down by his feet and looked up at the cloudy morning sky. "I left a little early this morning, decided to take the long way to school."

Kaien's hand went to the memory device in his pocket and he turned it around in his fingers. Maybe he should fix Ichigo's memories now and just be done with it. Both the fact that he hadn't done so in the first place was something Kaien found himself thinking about quite often. If this kid could forget him than maybe Kaien could forget Ichigo.

Which was really hard to do.

The kid's spiritual pressure was massive and now that Kaien was sitting next to Ichigo, it was hard to ignore it. It was a wonder that Kaien didn't notice his presence earlier and no wonder as to why that hollow had gone after him.

There seemed to be a lot to wonder about in Karakura Town.

"You come here every morning?" Ichigo turned to look at Kaien. "How long have you been in town anyway? It's a little weird to think I've never seen you before. You or any of those…monsters."

Kaien bit his lips together. Harmless questions…kind of.

He really should fix the teen's memories and let it go. But…

"I haven't been here very long." Kaien said taking his hand out of his pocket, empty. "I replaced the old Shinigami who used to patrol this town a couple of weeks ago."

"There was a different one of you here? How did I not run into him?"

"Her actually." Kaien shrugged. _Good question._ "I don't know, if you can see me you would have definitely been able to see her and if you could see that hollow I have no idea why you've never seen one before a week ago. They seem to be in abundance here compared to most places."

"What happened to her? The other Shinigami?"

_Bad question._ "She died."

"Oh…" Ichigo's cheeks flushed a little and he looked to the ground. "Sorry, I didn't know. Wait," he paused as he looked back at Kaien. "Death gods can die?"

Kaien locked eyes with the curious brown ones staring at him and gave a simple nod as he stood up to his full height and looked down at the human. He felt something fall in his chest as he dropped his voice to a monotone whisper.

"Yes, yes we can."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you all so much for the feedback and kudos! I'm sorry this chapter was a bit delayed - life is life and I had to put things on hold for a bit. I will try to get back into a consistent schedule again as soon as I can! Till next time -Siri


	8. Of Spirits and Souls

Renji Abarai bit back a sigh as he exchanged a worried glance with Rukia. He waited until Captain Ukitake was out of sight around the corner until he let it out with a shake of his head.

“Man, and I thought _you_ were looking tired these past couple weeks.” He said giving his friend a small frown.

It was true too. Rukia had been running around doing double duties since Kaien was given his temporary post in the real world. The entirety of the 13th squad was exhausted, but the captain looked twice as bad as the rest of them. Considering he never really looked totally healthy on a good day, that was really saying something. It was obvious he was trying to hold himself together a little tighter than when Kaien was around to help run things.

Vice-Captain Shiba pretty much ran the squad and it was nice that everyone was doing their best to pitch in and keep up with the extra jobs, but they were still in some strange disarray. Who knew that Kaien had that much of an influence over them all? Sure, vice-captains were important in a squad, very important, but Renji didn’t realize just how much so until Kaien left and he saw a working machine that didn’t quite work anymore.

_And I’m going to have to take on that responsibility soon._

Glancing sideways at his friend, Renji bit his bottom lip. He hadn’t told Rukia yet— that he had just been promoted to vice-captain and was going to be transferring to the 6th squad. Byakuya Kuchiki’s squad. Her brother’s squad.

He was surprised when they told him. Really _really_ surprised. Sure, he admitted he had some skill. He could hold his own in a fight against some really tough opponents and he had a fairly decent spiritual pressure that he could control fairly well. He knew his Zanpakutō well and Ikkakau was a really good teacher and had taught him a _lot_ , a lot more than he would have learned if he’d stayed in the 5th squad with Captain Aizen. Even then, that was mostly because he sucked at Kido (and he was being kind to himself putting it that way) and that’s what they were good at over there.

Kira totally deserved to be the vice-captain for them. He was _amazing_ at Kido. He could use almost all of the spells and heal and he rarely had to chant them (even though he did anyway because he was kind of an overachiever) and on top of it all that he wasn’t half bad at anything else either. He was a good fighter and was well organized and knew how to stay cool in tough situations and juggled all his responsibility with ease.

 _I am so screwed_.

Why did they pick him? _Why_? There were so many other, better candidates. But him? Renji could kick someone’s ass, but that was about all he was good at. It made no sense! Granted, not much made sense these days. He was going to be a vice captain, Kaien had been sent to the human world on patrol duty… what was next? Actually, Renji hoped he wouldn’t know the answer to that. Sure, things were never dull in Soul Society, but they were also, mostly, predictable once you learned to read the people and the wind.

“What’s that stupid face for?”

Renji started and looked over at Rukia who was staring up at him with a raised eyebrow. How long had she been doing that? Not that it really mattered; she was good at reading people in about half a second flat. It didn’t matter what the person’s face said, she could tell what was really going on and it was never very far from the truth when she pointed it out.

Which, both fortunately and unfortunately, she didn’t do a whole lot.

Renji straightened and tugged on his sleeves. “I don’t have a stupid face.”

“I beg to differ.” She smiled subtly, but quickly dropped it. “Really, though. You’re quiet today.”

 _Crap, crap, crap. Can’t tell her yet because if I tell her than she might be angry and really not anyone is supposed to know yet and… I have no idea how to handle this_. Which didn’t bode well for him being the second in command on one of the most regimented squads in Soul Society. _Screwed. I. Am. Screwed_.

But he couldn’t look away from Rukia because she knew how to hold a gaze and he could tell she was judging him or reading his thoughts because she might as well be psychic. Why didn’t _she_ get picked as a vice captain? That would have made so much more sense.

Renji shrugged. “I can have my quiet moments.”

Rukia snorted. “Sure, and Captain Hitsugaya has purple hair.”

 _That’d be amusing._ Shaking his head Renji sighed. “There’s just a lot going on, that’s all. Besides, you’ve got enough on your plate to add picking my brain apart to your duties. You can come bug me after Vice-Captain Shiba gets back and your life isn’t a laundry list of insanity.”

And that wasn’t the response he was expecting. Rukia’s eyes fell to the floor and she turned away, her fists clenching at her sides. She was either upset or angry or both and Renji hadn’t seen this coming at all. Maybe if it was two months ago this wouldn’t have caught him off guard. She had seen things that night in the woods that Renji couldn’t even imagine and from the little he was able to get her to tell him she had every right to be upset about it.

Technically? Kaien had died. And technically? It had been Captain Ukitake’s fault for not intervening. And even more technically speaking? Rukia had seen a side of Vice-Captain Shiba Renji found hard to believe existed. Suicidal? Hopeless? That wasn’t the Kaien he saw leading the 13th squad. That wasn’t the guy Renji heard Rukia blab about for hours. She was scared, he saw it. She didn’t know what to think about it all and Renji knew without a doubt that he’d be the same if it was him out there in those woods.

“Rukia?”

“He’s been gone almost a whole month, Renji. A whole month and we’ve heard barely anything from him.” Rukia turned back to look at him her mouth twisted in a worried pout. “I don’t know what to think about it all. On one hand maybe he’s busy? I don’t really know how assignments there work since I’ve never been on one, but on the other hand? What if…what if he really is…?”

 _That lost?_ Renji finished the sentence in his own thoughts. The guy did lose his wife and he did go on some crazy bender and tried to get himself killed, but…

“No,” Renji said with finality. “Vice-Captain Shiba might be having a hard time right now, but no one blames him for it. I might not know him too well, but I know he loved Miyako and I know things got crazy after everything happened, but I think…” _Word this carefully…_ “…I think you taught him something when you went after him.”

And now Rukia looked really confused. He could do this, even though he sucked at pep talks and making people feel better (because he was anything but subtle) he could totally do this. Because it was true, Rukia was the one that saved Kaien. He just had to put it in other terms besides the too-literal ‘you pulled his eaten soul out of a hollow and brought him back to life’.

“Look,” Might as well be frank about it, “I don’t really know what happened out there besides what you told me so I can only really guess at the details, but you said you didn’t recognize him. Said you didn’t understand why Captain Ukitake stood there and did nothing. Didn’t know why things happened the way they did.

“I get that. I _really_ do, I don’t understand a lot of what happens around here,” _Like me becoming a vice captain_ “But maybe that’s what happens when you’re defending honor. Maybe Kaien wasn’t defending his own; he could have been defending Miyako’s and I bet when you’re fighting for someone else’s honor, someone you hold _that_ precious? I bet you disregard your own.

“So you saw Kaien as a different person that night. So he wasn’t the same person after that night and still isn’t today, but he wasn’t the only one that changed. You said you don’t really know what you did out there, how you saved him right? I bet Captain Ukitake didn’t recognize you either. But I think he understood why, that you also found your honor or heart or _whatever_ that made you change and fight the way you did.”

“What does this have to do with me teaching Kaien something?” Rukia frowned. She almost looked mad at him.

 _I don’t even friggin’ know._ Renji ran a hand through his hair. He really, really sucked at this. He knew what he wanted to say, but he had no idea who to explain it in any semblance of ‘this makes sense’.

“That…maybe for as scared as you were and as confused as you are about all that shit? That maybe he saw that someone was just as willing to fight for him as he was to fight for Miyako and that maybe there was more to fighting and honor and being a Shinigami than he realizes or that any of us realize right now. Maybe he just needs time?”

_Because if I need time to figure out my life, then you need even more time and Kaien needs even more than both of us combined._

Renji sighed. “Sorry I—“

“That…makes sense.”

_What?_

Rukia looked up at him, face still solemn but eyes a little more thoughtful. “I guess I hadn’t thought about it that way. I bet that’s why Captain Ukitake sent him there in the first place.”

 _How_ _did that work?_ Renji stared at Rukia, goggle-eyed. _Guess that’s why she’s my best friend_. Because no matter how incoherent he was she always seemed to know what he was talking about and she always seemed to get it. _Get him_.

“Thanks, Renji.” Rukia smiled a little.

“No problem?” Renji snapped his fingers. “Hey! Why don’t you go ask Captain Ukitake about it? He’d never turn you away, you know that. Maybe he’d even let you go down there to talk to Kaien. You can’t be the only one that’s worried about him, right? And I can’t think of anyone better that he wouldn’t mind talking to if he needs it.”

“You think so?” Rukia asked skeptically. “I really don’t think that would be… conventional.”

_Oh if only you knew._

“Eh,” Renji shrugged. “What is these days?”

* * *

 

“Heading out?” Kisuke looked up from the book he wasn’t actually reading and smiled at the short, curly haired Shinigami who was securing her sandals by his front door.

Senza Rikki gave a small nod and tapped a sandal toe to the floor two times with one foot and then the other. Satisfied that her shoes weren’t going to be coming off during her outing she opened the door and turned to stare at the street. “Yes, I have to return to work. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be finished.”

Kisuke had to bite back a bitter laugh (really it was harder to do than it should have been), but the truth of the matter was when was their work ever done? He tossed his book unceremoniously aside and stood up. Letting out a dramatic sigh he took off his hat and ran a hand through his flattened hair. “But if you leave, that means I have to get back to work too.”

“Aw, poor Urahara…” The girl deadpanned. She glanced over her shoulder a small twinkle in her eye before she turned back to the open door and took a step out in the sunlight which brightened up the streaks of gold in her auburn hair. Her voice dropped to a bare whisper as she raised her face to take in the warmth of the late morning. “Thanks for putting up with me this past week.”

Kisuke couldn’t help but physically flinch. _Don’t say that_.

“There was no ‘putting up with’ done.” He followed her outside deliberately a couple steps slower until she stopped in the middle of his small sandy lot. She needed her space after what had happened. “I am sorry that things turned out the way they did. I wish I could have helped out more.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Turning the young Shinigami locked watery eyes with him. “But this is what we chose to do and I’ve got to live with that choice and all the choices that I’ve made since becoming a Shinigami.”

And there wasn’t any more stark a truth than that. It was the hardest lesson every person, Shinigami or not, had to come to terms with. Himself included.

This time Kisuke couldn’t hold in the hollow laugh. “You really are honest to a fault.”

Blunt, honest, and never afraid to point out how things really were. It was a quality he never acquired which was why whenever things went terribly wrong, he always laughed and joked about it, but even he couldn’t joke about this. He had no right to. Someone died (it seemed a lot of people were dying recently) and this time he could have done something to prevent it. And he really doesn’t know what he could have done, but maybe if he had thought a little harder…but he hadn’t and now someone else was paying the price for it.

That’s the way it always seemed to end for Kisuke. He’s made a mountain of mistakes in his time, as most people do, but for some reason his mistakes made the people around him suffer more than himself and he wasn’t sure if that was Fate’s disturbing way of getting him to learn a lesson or not. Either way, it wasn’t supposed to work like that. His mistakes were supposed to punish _him,_ not them.

That wasn’t to say he hadn’t paid; he ended up in the human world for a reason and it wasn’t because he got three gold stars for being a good leader and teacher and friend. The worst part about it? Even after all the time he’d taken to contemplate and think them over, he still wasn’t sure why he made some of the decisions he did. Actually, a lot of them he still didn’t regret and he didn’t know if that was because he was justified or because his need to learn play with things he shouldn’t play with is so great that he just didn’t care that he got in trouble in the first place.

And even worse on top of that? He couldn’t trust himself not to do it again. _At least down here I thought I couldn’t do as much damage as up there_. And now that was about as untrue as everything else in his life.

Senza bowed before straightening up. “Make sure Mira gets her proper good-bye back home.”

“Of course.” That was the least he could do. “If you need anything you know where I am.”

“Hopefully there will be a next time.”

“Don’t—“ Kisuke cut himself off as the air rippled and there was the breeze of a new presence in the air.

The girl gave him a short bow and silently disappeared with a small puff of dust that blew across his sandy lot before settling down again. Footsteps echoed behind him and Kisuke replaced his hat as he turned around with a wry smirk. “I was wondering when you would be stopping by, Vice-Captain Shiba.”

_Honestly, nearly three weeks down here and not even a hello._

“Who was that?” And Kaien was obviously not in the mood for small talk.

“No one of any importance.”

Kaien raised a skeptical eyebrow to the sky, but didn’t press the matter (thank goodness, that would have been a messy set of lies to come up with on the spot). “I was hoping you had a couple of minutes to spare.”

“For a customer, always.”

“I’m not here to buy.”

“Er, you sure? I just got a new shipment in yesterday…”

“Not today.”

“Tea then?”

“ _That_ would be nice.”

* * *

 

Ichigo shifted in his seat uncomfortably and in return it gave a displeased groan that he was sure the entire class heard. No one turned to look at him, though, so he settled further back and turned to stare out the window on his left. School desks really weren’t built for someone his height and that made him wonder on more than one occasion what Chad must feel like a few hours into the day. 

Luckily the day was almost over which meant he could try to go find Kaien and apologize. He had taken off so abruptly after Ichigo inquired about what death meant for Shinigami that Ichigo’s only conclusion was that he somehow seriously offended him and that left a bad taste in his mouth. It was pretty obvious that Kaien was upset; maybe the previous watcher in Karakura was a friend or maybe it was just that rare for a Shinigami to die. How many could there possibly be?

_There are death gods in our world._

And _that_ was something Ichigo was still having trouble swallowing even though it had been a full week since that Hollow had tried to kill him. Thinking about it made his head swim. Sure, he was used to the odd and yes, he believed in things other people usually brushed off as myth and lore, but monsters with masks that ate spirits and human-like death gods? Those were the things of fairy tales. Things that weren’t supposed to be real, things that weren’t supposed to interrupt his day and make him question a hell of a lot more about life (and death, especially about death) than he already did.

If things weren’t already crazy enough for a teenaged, orange haired boy with a bad reputation that he didn’t even deserve (well okay he kind of deserved, but that was only because he was given it first and _then_ owned it), adding monster dodging to a daily routine might just push him for the edge. _Guess that’s what Kaien’s job is for._ To keep people like him from finding out. Sure, keeping people alive and safe was one thing, but even knowing about death gods and Hollows would cause…well, chaos. _Ignorance really can be bliss._ Who would have thought _that_ could be true?

Ichigo’s eyes followed the second hand ticker on the clock and was out the door before the bell had stopped ringing. He ignored some of the strange looks he got as he hurried down the hall, but had to stop when a high pitched voice called out his name.

“Kurosaki!” Orihime Inoue’s voice could carry across an entire stadium and she wouldn’t even have to yell. She waved before bouncing up to him, a whirl of bright hair and her usual skip step and held out a hand. “Your phone fell out of your pocket back in the classroom.”

 _Distracted much?_ “Thanks. I already broke two this year, dad would kill me if I lost this one.”

Orihime was an interesting person, to say the least. Despite all the preconceptions that people tended to have of her she was pretty smart and Ichigo never doubted that anything she did or said wasn’t with every good intension in the world. She cared _a lot_ (maybe a little too much) about the people around her. And yes, she ate weird, _weird_ things and yes, she could be a complete bubblehead, but in the end she was a good person, despite the fact that she’d been through as much as the next person (if not more) and came out of it smiling.

Orihime giggled as she dropped the phone into Ichigo’s hand. “How did you break two phones when we’re only three months into the year?”

“Fighting, how else?” Tatski Arisawa spoke up from behind Inoue, her bag slung over her shoulder. (For being one of the tallest girls in their grade she was freakishly sneaky). “Think you’d learn to at least empty your pockets before you start kicking people and getting kicked back.”

Ichigo shrugged. “It’s not like I planned on getting into fights. They just…happen.”

“Uh huh,” Tatski didn’t look convinced but waved a hand in the air. “So where are you heading off to so fast anyway? You usually never have anywhere to be after school."

“Way to make me sound lame. I do things after school,” Ichigo said with a huff. _Today I just happen to be going on a death god search_. He just wasn’t going to mention that. “And I do things _other_ than fight.” He added quickly at Tatski’s raised eyebrows.

“Sure, whatever you say.”

Inoue laughed again. “You’re so mean to each other.”

Both true and untrue. Ichigo’s known Tatski for a long time, longer than anyone else in their school. Maybe they weren’t outwardly the closest friends, but she knew things about him that others didn’t and had seen parts of him that no one even knew he could own up to. From the good to the bad to the weak and he knew that she’d take those things to her grave. They might not share lunch together, or walk home after school, or catch movies on the weekend, but they’d defend each other if the need arose and Ichigo had no doubts about that, and that was probably more important in any friendship than how many afternoons you went to eat ramen together.

“She can take it.” Ichigo said with a smirk, which was the truest thing he’d said the entire conversation. He pocketed his phone and turned, putting a hand in the air. “I’ve really gotta get going. See you two tomorrow and thanks for returning my phone.”

“Bye!” Inoue squeaked over Tatski’s “See ya.” And Ichigo stepped outside into the warm afternoon sun to begin his search for an invisible Shinigami among lots and lots of people in his town that wasn’t very small.

Frankly, a needle in a hay stack would have been easier.

He had a couple of options; he could wander around and just _hope_ to run into Kaien which was about as likely as… well it wouldn’t happen. Or he could go find another monster or spirit that hadn’t moved on yet and see what happened. The former would just end him up in trouble again and the latter might also for that matter. So it was either hopeless wandering or possible life threatening putzing. No thanks.

Stopping on a street corner, Ichigo turned to look down the road in both directions. Which way to go? North went back towards his house and south went towards…

 _The park_. Kaien had mentioned Ichigo not usually going to the park in the morning which meant that the Shinigami must spend a good deal of time there. That or Kaien was secretly watching him, which would be creepy but understandable. He was pretty surprised that someone could see him in the first place. So they had both had a life changing moment back on the river bank and Ichigo hadn’t really thought about that.

Sure, maybe the idea of a death god was insane and crazy and mind boggling to Ichigo, but the idea that a human could see a death god that was used to being invisible to the world was probably just as shocking.

Making a mental note to apologize about that as well, Ichigo headed towards the park hoping that this time luck was on his side. No running into a gang from another school that wanted to fight him, no running into a clingy ghost that just wanted to talk when they realized he could interact with them, no getting eaten by ugly bird-like masked Hollows. Just a needed meeting with Kaien so he could finally clear his head and conscious and smooth out the underlying panic that’s been sitting in his stomach for the past week.

Because if he couldn’t get a bigger picture soon he might just freak out and he couldn’t freak out because that wasn’t the right thing to do, the brave thing to do.

Ichigo knew what he needed to do. He needed to get answers to his questions and he needed to use that knowledge. Use it to protect those that couldn’t protect themselves because that’s what he promised he would do all those years ago and that was a promise he hadn’t been able to live up to just yet. Maybe this would turn the tides. Maybe this would take him one step closer to being useful to the people he cared about.

* * *

 

 _What are you hiding from me, old man_  

Kaien wasn’t even paying attention to where he was going, he didn’t really care right now. His talk with Kisuke had been both beneficial and a complete waste of time. Mostly the latter. Granted, when he had decided to go to the little shop he didn’t really know what to expect. He knew who Kisuke was and what his general purpose in the human world was, they made sure of that before he left on his assignment, but other than that he was about as clueless as the next person. He knew Kisuke wasn’t in Soul Society for one reason or another, what that reason was he didn’t even want to venture a guess. It wasn’t his business and he was happy to keep it that way.

_But what the hell does he do all day?_

He decided to sit the man down and ask him about Karakura Town with the ultimate goal of wheedling Ichigo into the conversation because Kisuke had been in Karakura a long time. A _very_ long time so if anyone else had run into the boy who could see Shinigami and hollow it would have been Kisuke. But all the blond did was hint that he knew something, but that he didn’t know anything. It was infuriating.

Kisuke knew. Kaien knew that Kisuke knew. He had been in Karakura for barely a month and he managed to run into Ichigo and now that he was quite aware of his presence he could sense him if their paths crossed even remotely close to each other. Kisuke would have to be either blind or dumb and the older man was definitely neither. Just infuriating.

_So he knows something that I don’t or knows something that he doesn’t want me to figure out. I guess that’s why the Captain Commander told me to keep an eye on him while I was here._

Which sounded weird at first. _Not anymore_.

So they sat down to tea, a very nice tea that Kaien didn’t even realize he missed until he realized he hadn’t had it since he left, and talked about the abnormal amount of hollow that showed up in town. Or the unusual spiritual pressure that seemed to come from the very earth itself. When Kaien had mentioned people, though, Kisuke feigned idiocy.

But he had hesitated. Which in turn made Kaien suspicious. Unfortunately any further prying only got him one response which was roughly a variation of “I don’t get out much.”

 _He’s hiding something_. Now just to figure out exactly what. That was _not_ going to be easy and at the end of the day it wasn’t really important to Kaien’s mission, but at the same time he had a sneaking suspicion it was important to him and the town. Maybe indirectly so, but still important.

_Huh?_

Kaien stopped mid-step foot still in the air as a familiar echo bounced off the walls around him. A high pitched screech tip at the end of the roar told him that the hollow was pretty far away, but it was mad. Very, _very_ mad. Kaien pushed Kisuke out of his mind and took off, the buildings and trees around him barely a blur as he sped towards a foul pressure that made his stomach want to turn over on itself. This hollow was either going to be very powerful or very emotional. Or both.

 _It **would** be both_ , Kaien grumbled silently as he skidded to a halt midair over the street intersection where a snake-like hollow stood over a girl who was face down on the pavement next to a bag of groceries that had scattered all over the crosswalk. _What is it doing?_

Nothing. The hollow wasn’t doing anything. It was just sitting there, watching, arms out like it wanted to reach for the woman. It let out a long hissing sigh as the girl pushed herself up onto her knees and pushed her hair out of her face, wincing as she looked at a couple of scrapes across her arms.

Kaien shifted his stance getting ready to strike. This was going to be his best opportunity while the hollow was occupied. It seemed so entranced with the girl who, Kaien noted, had very little spiritual pressure. Why would it go after her then? Why wasn’t it going after her now? _What the hell is wrong with this town, its people, and its hollow?_

Slowly drawing Nejibana out of her sheath as quietly as he could Kaien took a small breath and let it out before lining up his shot with the back of the hollow’s head. His back foot pushed off on the air and he dove down and lighting speed before-

“Inoue?!”

_Ichigo?_

 

* * *

 

“I don’t see a problem with that.” Captain Ukitake said with a small smile as Rukia’s face lit up in a way he hadn’t seen in months. “We haven’t heard from Kaien in a while and the reports we have received back have been a bare minimum of details. I am worried he might still be angry with me. 

Which was part of the truth. The other part was that he was worried Kaien just wasn’t healing in the way that the Captain was hoping when he sent him on the mission. The old Kaien would have sent him two longwinded reports, one for everyone to read, and a second filled with snaps and jokes and sarcasm just for him to read. Instead he got one, dry report that he’d expect from…well just about anyone.

Kaien was never like anyone else.

Rukia bowed. “Thank you, sir. I promise I won’t be gone more than a day and it’s my day off so I won’t be missing any of my assignments. I just—“ She stopped and blushed a little.

Ukitake leaned forward in his seat onto his desk. “I understand. We’re all worried. I’ll make the arrangements and call you when things are set up.”

Rukia nodded and shut the door to the office a little harder than she usually did and walked away with a tiny bounce in her step. Ukitake had been wanting to check on Kaien for a good week now, but he couldn’t find the time to organize it on his own. Rukia volunteering couldn’t have been better timing.

Standing up, the Captain hovered over his desk for a minute. He was tired. So tired and so was the rest of his squad, but that didn’t stop them and it wasn’t going to stop him either. He just had to trust that Kaien was doing what he needed to do to in the human world for both himself and his assignment and that he’d be back soon.

At least he only had a couple of things left to do for the morning. Square Rukia away and then answer a letter he had received on his desk sometime over night before lunch with his wonderfully flighty best friend. Ukitake eyed the envelope, picked it up, and read over the neat scrawl on the back. It was actually empty, the letter itself was written on the envelope. Short, simple, and to the point.

_Captain, I haven’t heard from my brother in over a month. We need to talk. –Kukaku Shiba_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to everyone who's reviewed recently- you're words make me happy =) thanks so much and I am glad everyone seems to be enjoying this so far.
> 
> I know this chapter and the last one seem very much like set up chapters, and they are, but I promise things will pick up soon! Thanks again - Siri


	9. Hit and Run

“Inoue?” Ichigo sprinted the last half a block towards the intersection that the girl was sitting amongst skewed about groceries in. Inoue didn’t look up right away as Ichigo knelt down next to her. “Hey are you okay? What just happened?” 

He had only heard the screech of car tires before he managed to spot a person lying on the ground. 

“I uh…” 

“Did that car just hit you?”

“Yes?” Large eyes finally looked up and then shut as Inoue burst out laughing between a sheepish grin. “No? I’m not really sure. I don’t think so.” 

_ She would laugh _ , Ichigo thought rolling his eyes. “This isn’t funny. I can’t believe they would just drive off like that…” 

Peering down at the tire tracks that stretched down the street Ichigo frowned. He wanted nothing more than to chase that bastard down and beat them senseless. Who  _ does _ that? 

“I’m fine, really.” Inoue got up and brushed off her skirt quickly. She quickly looked over herself and pumped a hand into the air. “See?”

Ichigo didn’t really know what to say. This was either way too typical for Inoue or… well there wasn’t an ‘or’ to be had. But he wasn’t going to argue. All he could see were a few small scraps on her arms so if she said she was okay then… “If you say so…”

“Aw man…” Inoue ignored the small hint of doubt in his voice as she looked around at her scattered groceries and frowned. “And Tatski was going to come over for dinner tonight too.” 

“What exactly were you planning on making?” Ichigo immediately regretted asking as he took in the scattered food items. At his feet was a bushel of green onions and then there was some curry powder, and bread and… eggplant? “On second thought, never mind.” Hopefully Tatski would bring  _ real _ food to the table. 

He bent down quickly and began gathering up different things as Inoue retrieved her bag that had floated across the street to the opposite sidewalk. Once all the items were packed away Ichigo handed the bag back to Inoue and looked her over one more time. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Uh huh! Stop worrying.” She smiled wide before waving and turning back onto the sidewalk. “I’ll see you tomorrow at school, right?” 

“Right.”

“Who was that?”

“Holy-“ Ichigo jumped and whirled around as someone spoke in his ear. He whipped an arm out to hit away whoever had snuck up on him, but a hand caught his wrist before he could get the punch in.  _ Kaien? _ Ichigo pulled his arm back and shook his wrist out. “D-don’t do that to someone!” 

“Call it payback for the park.” Kaien crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “So that girl?”

“She’s from my class at school.” Ichigo said simply. It would figure he’d spent the better part of the past hour looking for Kaien only for the Shinigami to find him first. “What’re you doing here? I’ve been looking for you all over since school got out.”

“Huh?” Kaien looked genuinely confused. Not really surprising, a Shinigami who normally can’t be seen by humans probably isn’t used to being saught out by one. “Why would you- is there a hollow around?”

“No! No nothing like that. I…well…” Ichigo took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. “It seemed like I kind of pissed you off back in the park and I wanted to apologize. It was dumb of me to assume something like that.”

_ That someone who’s dead can die? _ It still confused him, but Ichigo didn’t care because he knew what it was like to lose someone and he knew that it sucked and the hows and whys and logic of it all didn’t matter at all. Because dead was dead and there were no two ways about it. So if Kaien had lost a friend (if not someone more than), and with the way he had reacted how could Ichigo assume otherwise, it was rude to be so presumptuous about it all. 

Kaien, on the other hand, chuckled. “You’ve been ditching your homework to look for me so you could…apologize?” Ichigo just nodded. “You’re even weirder than I thought, kid.”

Ichigo crossed his arms mimicking Kaien with a slight eyebrow raise. “You’re one to talk.”

It was a solid minute before Kaien loosened his stance and shrugged. “Yeah I guess you’re right. Apology accepted, although, I was kind of rude to you so I guess I gotta say I’m sorry now too.”

Ichigo blinked and went to say something, but Kaien cut him off. 

“So what happened here anyway?” The Shinigami eyed the tire tracks in the middle of the intersection. 

Ichigo felt his cheeks go red. “Someone asshole almost hit her with their car and just drove off! Can you believe it? Who would do that?!“

“You do realize you were both almost Hollow bait right?”

“I mean he didn’t even- Wait, what?” Ichigo froze mid-rant and looked around the street. “A hollow was here? Just now?”

And he didn’t notice?

Kaien nodded slowly. “You and I showed up at about the same time and it was standing right by your friend there until you scared it off.”

How did he miss that? Was that even possible?

Maybe Ichigo could only see  _ some _ of these hollows or maybe the one that chased him and Kara was a fluke. That still didn’t explain how he could see Kaien, but if there was a massive monster standing over Inoue, Ichigo was pretty sure he wouldn’t just…not see it.

Unless he was too busy watching the car drive away or too focused on trying to figure out just who was lying in the street. Which meant he  _ really _ needed to work on his observation skills. 

“Why would it go after Inoue?” Ichigo glanced back down the street that the girl had gone. “Didn’t you say they only go after spirits?”

“Aside from you that is usually the case. But there are always exceptions to the rules. Hollow go after spirits because they are helpless, easy targets. They come after Shinigami like myself because we have lots of Reiatsu. Our spiritual pressure draws them to us. That, and we’re an obvious threat.” 

Ichigo felt something knot in his stomach. He was always so sure he was the one freak in town. The one who could see what others couldn’t. The one who dealt with the crap so other people didn’t have too. Although, now that he was thinking about it, that was kind of dumb of him to assume. He just didn’t want other people to deal with what he had to. Like his sister. If he took care of it then she could live more at least a little more normally.

Kaien put a hand to his chin thinking. “The only conclusion I came to after that hollow went after you was you definitely have a high spiritual energy. If you could see both me and the hollow it was the only logical conclusion, but I could barely feel anything spiritual coming from that girl.”  

“So it was a coincidence?” Unlikely, but it was worth a shot, right?

“I don’t believe in those.” Kaien’s eyes went dark. This was obviously much more serious than it seemed on the surface. The Shinigami let out a sigh and continued, speaking more to himself than Ichigo. “I don’t think it was after you. It was way to focused on that girl and it ran away pretty fast once you got close enough. Damn, I should have pursued it, but I was worried about her. I’m pretty sure it had a hand on her leg…”

“Whoa whoa, wait. Are you telling me that thing grabbed Inoue?” Ichigo felt a sudden spike of anger well up. “And you didn’t do anything?!”  She really did seem fine, if not a little rattled, but who wouldn’t be? If anything she definitely hadn’t seen the hollow. She wouldn’t be able to hide that with any amount of over cheer. “Can that do anything to someone?”

“To other spirits? It can do any number of things. Sometimes a mere touch is enough to drain a spirit of its essence. Hollow have also been known to mark a spirit, leave some of their reiatsu behind in order to track it. To a human I honestly don’t know. It has been a very long time since I’ve dealt with Hollows outside of Soul Society.” 

The look of genuine concern on Kaien’ face didn’t make Ichigo feel much better. 

“Should I go make sure she’s okay or something? I mean if that thing’s going to go after her she’s...well Inoue won’t have a clue.” Ichigo eyed the sidewalk leading towards Inoue’s house ready to take off. 

Kaien shook his head. “I’ll keep an eye on things tonight. I can’t detect the hollow right now, but if it pops back up I’ll know.”

Ichigo wanted to be okay with that. He really did, but somehow the knot in his stomach was only getting worse. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Kaien, he’s been given no reason to distrust him since they met. and he was clearly damn good at his job. 

_ Oh that’s an awkward way of looking at it _ . A job, like someone who works at a coffee shop or a teacher or…  _ does he get paid for this crap? _

But if it was a job, if Kaien’s purpose in Karakura Town was to keep people safe from these Hollows then Ichigo should let him do his work. Because Ichigo definitely didn’t know how the hell to fight against one of those things. What could he do to help Inoue if one should try and hurt her? Run like he had with Kara? He wouldn’t always be that lucky. 

So in the end, the answer was nothing. And no matter how much that sucked and how much he wished he could change that he couldn’t. Not fast enough to be of any help right then, if it was even possible to be helpful at all in the future. 

That seemed to be a reoccurring theme.

Ichigo nodded slowly. “Yeah, okay.” 

* * *

 

Contrary to popular belief it was very hard to find a lone Shinigami in a town full of humans. It wasn’t as if Karakura town was particularly big or crowded, it was just….a little off. Which ended up throwing Rukia off just enough to get in the way of looking for Kaien. The ground just felt weird under her feet or maybe it was the air; she couldn’t quite put a finger on it. 

Either way the afternoon sun began to dwindle way to fast and just when Rukia began to wonder if Kaien just didn’t want to be found, she found him. 

Him and a Hollow and three humans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's see if you can guess where this is all going?
> 
> Thanks again for reading! And for those of you who reviewed. I'll see you next chapter! -Siri


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